I've always been a huge admirer of cover versions of songs, when done right. And while I can go into a lengthy debate over why certain covers work over others, or list off my top 10 covers of all time, or break down multiple covers of the same song (something I rather enjoyed doing on my short lived website Massive Hysteria - RIP), I have a very specific idea for this particular post. No it's not to lament about the 'Grunge Lite' compilation by Sara DeBell from '96. (Which, sadly, wasn't that great.) But close!
I'm fascinated by songs that we grew up once holding so dear to our hearts as really deep representations of our angst-ridden youth and then suddenly hearing them transformed into soft-spoken balled-esque reinterpretations. Often to accompany some upcoming movie trailer. And this gimmick works! Because it gets me every time!
I'm sitting in the theater waiting for some new movie to start a few weeks back, and up pops the trailer to the new Liam Neeson movie 'A Walk Among The Tombstones.' Looks alright enough, probably entertaining, but suddenly I'm drawn in, because I hear this beautiful melody of a song I know I'd heard before, and it takes me a moment for it to catch on. Why it's Soundgarden's 'Black Hole Sun,' but performed in a very intimate fashion with a single piano and female vocal track. It's gorgeous and mesmerizing and I immediately look for it on-line after coming home from the movie to discover it's by an artist named Nouela. I end up downloading this version below, along with a cover of 'The Sounds Of Silence' off her Bandcamp page.
Black Hole Sun by Nouela (from 'A Walk Among The Tombstones') (Trailer)
I love it. And afterwords I find this slightly more polished "band" version with SWANN that features a bit more instrumentation, which is the actual one used in the trailer. And it gets me thinking of other examples where either "grunge" songs are covered as ballads, or used for movie trailers. Well, it's not a grunge "hit" per se, but the other time where this struck me as an amazing way to present a song in a completely different context than the original version was for the 2009 'Last House On The Left' remake trailer, which features a cover of Guns N' Roses 'Sweet Child O' Mine' as performed by Taken By Trees. Switching the intent to factor into a parent's pain over the loss of their child gives this version a whole creepy new tone, even though I'm sure that's not what Taken By Trees probably intended with their version!
Sweet Child O' Mine by Taken by Trees (from Last House On The Left) (Trailer)
Well once I started down this rabbit role, I decided I might as well keep following this path to see what else I discover. Now, the first person to successfully do this sort of reinterpretation was actually Tori Amos when she did 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' for her EP 'Crucify', and at the height of Nirvana popularity no less! I do love her version. And there are literally dozens of great versions of this song out there (none of which match the power of the original, of course), but I recently discovered this mellow acoustic version by singer/songwriter Daniela Andrade, which is rather beautiful.
Smells Like Teen Spirit by Daniela Andrade
She's got several other various covers on her You Tube page, along with plenty of originals and they're all in that vein, so if you dig this cover, I encourage you to poke around and check out more of her stuff. Well, the more I got to thinking about the most popular songs of that era, I eventually remembered Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan has such a unique and distinct voice. Surely no female musicians have covered any of their hits, right? Thankfully I was wrong! There's quite a few covers of 'Today,' but I rather liked this one by an artist named Terra Naomi, which is just her and her band performing it live in the back of their van while trekking to a gig.
Today by Terra Naomi
Now, Radiohead managed to just barely escape the "grunge" label by the skin of their teeth. 'Creep' was definitely considered an anthem of the latter half of that period in the mid to late 90's, but of course they were destined to evolve into something far more different and unique. (And are still evolving!) But rather than wade through a 100 different covers of 'Creep,' I went right for 'No Surprises,' the type of track that seems ideal for a female fronted reinterpretation and I found it courtesy of Regina Spektor.
No Surprises by Regina Spektor
In the same way that I initially found it difficult to think of anyone successfully covering Smashing Pumpkins because of Billy Corgan's voice, I wondered has anyone ever pulled off a Pearl Jam cover? Eddie Vedder's voice is very distinct, as well as easy to imitate, whether you're a Pearl Jam fan, karaoke enthusiast or one of the long line of Creed-esque rip-off bands. But I was really curious to find a female vocalist singing a Pearl Jam song. And so I went for my personal favorite (and one of their all time best) tracks 'Jeremy.' I found this very casual cover done at what seems like a party (hence the background noise towards the end) by this duo. I don't know their names. And perhaps I could do a more thorough job researching them, but the You Tube username is "eleauerreabe" and links back to several other covers with this guitarist.
Since the advent of mix tapes, the goal with them has always been to try to describe very complicated emotions you're feeling through the words and music of others. If you're trying to profess your love or admiration to a person, that's a complicated and thought-provoking thing to have to do! If you're trying to turn on a younger sibling, cousin or friend onto new music, especially when they're at an impressionable age, that's a huge responsibility! You have the power to change this young person's life through music. Same goes for band mates. Illustrating the type of music you'd like to make with others is a complex form of communication. And alas, there's the last type of mix - the one no one ever wants to make. The break-up mix.
I don't want to delve too personally into my own situation or what exactly transpired to inspire the below playlist. But I will say that I was involved with a person, on and off for the majority of last year. Several months after we/she called it quits, I woke up to a text a few weeks back that read, "I saw you in a dream last night." The conversation that unfolded could've gone a number of ways, but it ended with her texting me in a 'by the way' kind of manner, "I'm engaged. I'm getting married."
I immediately retreated to my iTunes library to find solace. I started playing the Taking Back Sunday track "Your Own Disaster" from the Live From Orensanz CD over and over and over again. It's amazing how quickly our feelings can turn. When we part ways with someone for whatever reason, the least we can hope for is that we're thought of fondly. All the negatives are washed away and all that's left are the good times you shared with that person. In other words, you hope you're not forgotten. And yet, moments after that final text, I just kept thinking of the lyric, "just forget me. It's that simple." It's interesting how sometimes, in order to feel better about things, your mind starts working in fascinating, inexplicable ways. I, of course, started collecting a tally of songs to make me feel better about the whole situation. And much like any relationship/break-up itself, it's filled with contradictions, it's filled with doses of self loathing, anger, regret, romanticism, disappointment, etc. Here's what I put together on initial instinct.
The Great Heartbreak Of 2013-2014 Mix:
1. You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby by The Smiths
2. Push by The Cure
3. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
4. Why Bother? by Weezer
5. Someday by The Strokes
6. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
7. Shout by Tears For Fears
8. Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley
9. Landslide by Smashing Pumpkins
10. Stuck On You by Failure
11. I Remember You by Skid Row
12. Your Own Disaster by Taking Back Sunday (Live From Orensanz version)
13. Without You Here (Live) by Finch (from 'What It Is To Burn X')
14. So Long by Guster
15. They're Not Horses, They're Unicorns by Bayside
16. Jude Law And A Semester Abroad by Brand New
17. I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
With a little bit more time to think about it, I would've added or used some different tracks, such as Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love" or EG Daily's "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)," but I already used that on my 80's mix. Maybe "Comfortable Liar" by Chevelle. But I always think that your initial reaction is the right one, so I'm sticking with this. And as you'll note, the tracks, lyrics and messages from this mix are just as mixed as most relationships tend to be. I blame myself at first with The Smith's "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby," and yet a few songs later, I'm declaring "Why Bother?" to the tune of Weezer. "You say you want to be by my side, darling your head's not right," from The Strokes "Someday" is again me taking the blame. Where in Tears For Fears "Shout,""I'd really love to break your heart."The Cure's "Push" is probably the most accurate of the bunch in terms my own situation. Or maybe "Wicked Game" is. I don't know. Things get a bit on the mean side towards the end, but like I said before, anger is a natural coping mechanism when it comes to a relationship that's run it's course. So gotta follow it through. Even if it means putting a song by Three Days Grace on a mix, something I thought I'd never, ever do.
Like I said, all of the above happened several weeks ago and I've been processing it all by listening to this mix I made. And I love it. It's a great collection of songs that currently encapsulate the varied range of emotions I've been going through. I'm good now. So back to the grind. But before I go, I'll leave you with another one I should have put on this mix. Coheed & Cambria's "A Favor House Atlantic," mainly for it's beautiful, melodic & catchy lyric, "Bye, Bye, beautiful. Don't bother to write..." So I'll include this really terrific acoustic version of that song here. And I'll say it once more...
Ha! My title for this blog post says it all. There is no real animosity or mud slinging involved in this very simple debate between myself and my collaborator/friend Joe Maddrey. However, it's taken on a life of its own whenever we mention it on our respective Facebook pages, so I felt the need to put into context here via our blogs.
So here's what happened...
Joe and I have been meeting up quite a bit lately, not only to map out the details of our proposed project together, but also just to get to know each other better. And usually, we do that through our discussions on music, bands, songs, mixes we've made for people and how they factor into some of our personal life experiences. You can learn a lot about someone solely based on what they put on a mix tape! And so at some point in one of our conversations, I'm sure I was talking about Nirvana as the undisputed greatest band of ever when I suddenly noticed in Joe's facial expression... that he didn't agree with me! So that's when I said, "Wait... you a Pearl Jam guy?" Initially, there was never a "Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam" discussion. It was more of a, "well, I like Nirvana. They're a great band, but growing up, Pearl Jam spoke to me more." Fair enough. We're all our own people with our own unique experiences so we see and hear things just a tad bit differently from each other. No biggie. Still like the dude.
I think shortly after this lunch meeting, and out of sheer morbid curiosity, Joe posted on his Facebook page the simple 4 word question.... Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam? And what sprung from that was a fun, healthy and impassioned debate on which band is better. With the exception of one or two jokers that answered "Alice In Chains!," the verdict was predominantly for Nirvana. I'm sure I maturely texted Joe something along the lines of "In your face! Told ya!" Or something to that effect. A few weeks had passed and I'd forgotten all about this, but we're sitting there having lunch and in the middle of our chat, he slowly goes into his bag and slides over a CD across the table to me. It reads "The Case For Pearl Jam."
I couldn't help but laugh and find it to be a tremendously gracious and thoughtful gesture. There was no case to be made! I liked Pearl Jam too! Just not as much as Nirvana and I didn't keep up with them as much post-"Versus." (I remember when "Vitology" came out, it was a huge, huge disappointment at the time. How dare a band in their position waste album space with a song like "Bugs" when these are the same guys that a few years earlier gave us "Ten?!") But I was excited, because even though I've purchased every single Pearl Jam album as they've come out, I'm not as well versed in their later catalog as I am in the first few years. Now, I didn't set any restrictions for Joe. He set them on himself. He opted for no "Ten" tracks. Although he cheated and closed with "Release" because "how could I not?" he rightfully argued. But it's a good collection of tracks that spans their whole career. Here's that track listing:
THE CASE FOR PEARL JAM:
1. Last Exit (Vitology)
2. Animal (VS)
3. Hold On (Lost Dogs Disc 1)
4. Blood (VS)
5. Not For You (Vitology)
6. In My Tree (No Code)
7. No Way (Yield)
8. Yellow Ledbetter (Lost Dogs Disc 1)
9. Given To Fly (Yield)
10. Light Years (Binaural)
11. Of The Girl (Binaural)
12. You Are (Riot Act)
13. Inside Job (Pearl Jam)
14. Amongst The Waves (Backspacer)
15. Pendulum (Lightning Bolt)
16. Release (Ten)
And it absolutely did it's job. There's no denying that there's a great band here, even minus the well known singles. And it got me curious to give those latter records another spin. The only thing I gave Joe crap about was using the "Lost Dogs" version of "Yellow Ledbetter," which fades out early as opposed to the full version as it appeared on the original "Even Flow" single. And I probably would've thrown in the song "In Hiding" from "Yield;" I consider it one of their underrated and best, but again, I'm no authority on Pearl Jam. Now, to be clear, Joe will be the first to admit that he also isn't an expert on their latter career. As is the case with the way most mixes are put together, he was going on instinct; including the tracks that stood out to him personally that he wanted to share. I only note this because when I excitedly showed the track listing to my buddy AJ, a big PJ buff, he was surprised at the lack of newer songs. I was equally surprised by the response from my own Facebook friends when I posted that above photo of his mix CD. I found it ironic that most of my friends were arguing for Pearl Jam as the better of the two bands! (While his were pro-Nirvana?!) I decided that it was only fair for me to craft the counter mix. It was time for me to make "The Case For Nirvana."
I jokingly told Joe I could probably make a mix of only Nirvana B-sides and it'd still be better than his Pearl Jam mix. He joked that all I can do is hand over "Nevermind" or else my case is already lost, which of course he only said because he knew it'd infuriate me. (Which it did.) The one thing we agreed on was no singles. I would put together a collection of songs that would encompass the entire band's history. I struggled with it for quite a while. I had weird early demos on there like "Pen Cap Chew," just because I thought it was cool. I tried desperately to find a spot for "Verse Chorus Verse" aka "Sappy" aka the hidden track on the No Alternative compilation and it just didn't jive with any of the other songs I picked. So after a lot of moving around tracks and testing it out, I got what I consider to be the perfect non-single Nirvana mix:
THE CASE FOR NIRVANA:
1. Breed (Nevermind)
2. Aneurysm (Incesticide)
3. Drain You (Nevermind)
4. School (Bleach)
5. Turnaround (Hormoaning/Incesticide)
6. Oh, The Guilt (The Jesus Lizard split)
7. Very Ape (In Utero)
8. Territorial Pissings (Nevermind)
9. Son Of A Gun (Hormoaning/Incesticide)
10. Negative Creep (Bleach)
11. Curmudgeon (Lithium single)
12. Milk It (In Utero)
13. Lounge Act (Nevermind)
14. Return Of The Rat (Fourteen Songs For Greg Sage & The Wipers)
15. Marigold (Heart Shaped Box single)
16. Spank Thru (Sub Pop 200)
17. Talk To Me (Europe 1991 bootleg)
18. On A Plain (Nevermind)
19. Something In The Way (BBC Session)
20. Opinion (With The Lights Out Disc 2)
21. Do Re Mi (With The Lights Out Disc 3)
22. You Know You're Right (Nirvana)
I'm really proud of this Nirvana mix. The opener for any mix always has to be your strongest case. And although it's not one of my all time favorite Nirvana tracks, I've decided that "Breed" is kind of the quintessential Nirvana song. It's fast, it's got a punk feel to it, it's heavy, it's melodic, it's catchy, it's energetic, it's powerful. It's all the things I love about them as a band. And I think if you're unfamiliar with their catalog, these above listed songs are a good way to weave in and out of their punk songs and pop songs. It's a good collection. Towards the end, I wanted to give a feel for where Nirvana was heading. So I kicked that section off by including the B-Side "Marigold," performed by Dave Grohl which gives a tiny glimpse at the humble beginnings of the Foo Fighters. There's a bootleg track titled "Talk To Me," which I believe was only performed once during this European tour and it most certainly would've been a single had they had the chance to record it in the studio. Then there's the last 2 tracks, the solo acoustic demo "Do Re Mi," which is interesting in that the next Nirvana record would've probably been a hybrid of REM meets their Unplugged performance. It would've been special and weird and in that direction that they started with "All Apologies."
Lastly, their final track ever "You Know You're Right." I remember the time this sucker finally hit radio was probably a good 10 years after it was originally recorded. The Queens Of The Stone Age just released their hit single "No One Knows" with Dave Grohl pounding furiously behind the drum kit. Also on the radio was the new rockin' Foo Fighters single "All My Life" from their record "One By One." And then out of nowhere, we finally got the long lost last Nirvana track and immediately, it showed everything that'd been missing from the "pop/rock" music scene in the decade since that band ended. It was intense, passionate and angry. And lyrically, it spelled out Kurt's fate, whether he intended it to or not. I love the song, but it also makes me terribly sad because as the last few notes pluck out to the progressively slowing drum beat, you know that that's it. That right there is the end of Nirvana.
I gave the mix to Joe and after a few listens, he signed off on the whole Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam thing via his own personal blog: maddrey.blogspot.com. Check it out right HERE. He makes a lot of valid point as to why each band resonates with each of us. I particularly like the theory he illustrates from Daniel Levitin, who essentially says that we're most impressionable at the age of 14 and hence, that's when our life long musical tastes truly emerge. For me, I was around 14 when Nirvana first broke big and it absolutely changed my feelings about music in general. Joe's a year behind me so he was 14 the following year when Pearl Jam broke. But I think Nirvana plays a more prominent role in my life in terms of how it changed me personally from that moment forward. As I briefly touched upon in my very first blog entry, I always had an interest in music, but I was constantly discouraged by every adult that I ever crossed paths with. It literally wasn't until I heard Nirvana and picked up a guitar and figured out the 4 main chords to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" that I realized "I can do this." Had it not been for Nirvana breaking at exactly that moment in time, who knows if I would've formed several bands and written 100 plus songs in that time since?
The biggest difference I find between Pearl Jam and Nirvana is the simplicity in the songs. Sure, Pearl Jam lyrics are amazing and the songs themselves are all compromised of really cool riffs and licks. But... hearing them for the first time, could I actually figure out how to play them? It'd take a lot of work. And that's not to say that I wouldn't want to try to put the work in, but people get easily discouraged when things are difficult for them at first. The fact that Nirvana songs are simple enough for you to figure out pretty easily I think factors greatly into their overall influence on people. My buddy Jon Holland worked for years at a Guitar Center store and he told me, "remember that scene in WAYNE'S WORLD where they're in the music shop and there's a sign that says 'No Stairway?' That's how we felt about 'Teen Spirit' because every kid would come in and play it!" And then I'd move on to "Come As You Are." It's just a few simple notes. Almost like a scale exercise. And "Lithium" and so on and so forth. Nirvana for me wasn't just accessible to how I was feeling (which was angry all the time), but I felt as if I could figure out how to play their music too. And in turn, make some of my own just like it.
There's no right or wrong to this debate. It's all personal preference. It's all our life experiences that add up to why we love the things we do. And the beautiful thing about the things we love is how they inspire us. I wanted to close this by showing you something that years later still inspires me. There's a terrific little documentary called "Classic Albums: Nirvana Nevermind." I believe this was part of a series of VH1 specials that took an in depth look at one hit album, and broke it down track by track. Below is a clip from it where recording engineer and "Nevermind" producer Butch Vig breaks down the recording of "In Bloom." You get to hear the bass & drum tracks on their own. You also get to hear Kurt's main vocal track isolated. Then paired up with Dave's harmonies. And it sounds amazing. And to me, I love that fact that 3 guys walked into a room and created what you hear in this video clip. That's it! No pitch shifting or voice correction or pro tools manipulation. Plain and simple, 3 guys in one room. It's inspiring. And if 3 dudes can go into a room and come up with something that great, well then anything is possible.
So, my birthday had just passed a few weeks ago. And while most people humbly don't like to make a big deal out of it, I most definitely wanted to celebrate! If anything, to take my mind off the fact that I am feeling and getting older. Usually, I just want to do something small and geeky with some close friends, so this year I opted to encore what I'd done last year. Rent out the Jumpcut Cafe and screen a film print of one of my favorite movies with a small group of people. Last year's feature was 'BETTER OFF DEAD.' This year was 'BACK TO THE FUTURE,' mainly because when I asked my buddy Mike Williamson (who screens 16mm prints from his collection monthly at the Jumpcut for his Secret Sixteen event) he said, "well, what are you favorite movies of all time?" "TEEN WOLF and EVIL DEAD 2!" "Oh. Well I have BACK TO THE FUTURE and ARMY OF DARKNESS?" And while I'm sure ARMY OF DARKNESS would've been a lot of fun, I opted for BTTF because I hadn't seen it in ages and I wanted to keep my birthday 80's-centric. (Besides, there's always next year.)
I can't explain it, but I just have so much love for that time period. Sure, I primarily grew up as a teenager in the 90's, but that later half of the 80's from around 85-89 was when I became a hardcore movie fanatic and soaked in as many comedies and horror films of that era as I could. It was the golden age of the video store. It was also the golden age of HBO where you'd seen weird, oft-kilter movies like 'ONE CRAZY SUMMER' or 'MAKING MR. RIGHT' or 'JUST ONE OF THE GUYS' on a regular basis. The mere possibility of a discussion popping up these days that revolves around the movies I love of this period gets me ridiculously excited. Any chance I get to talk about Savage Steve Holland or Michael J. Fox or John Hughes, it makes me enthusiastically very happy.
Ever since FEARnet shut down earlier this year, I've been trying to find little things to do that make me happy. One hobby that has resurfaced from my teenage years is record shopping. About two years ago when my current roommate Brendan moved in, he brought along with him a really great turntable set-up. Once we were up and running, I arranged to have any vinyl I had left in New York shipped here and I continued my collection, primarily focusing on soundtracks because they're fairly easy to find, but also because they tend to be fairly inexpensive! I love soundtracks, especially for 80's movies because a lot of those tracks aren't available in any other medium. Not on iTunes or even CD's. And sometimes you'll hear a few notes of a song or catch a few lyrics and immediately be transported into the world of the movie it's from. And because of this, I made it a quest to track down as many 80's movie soundtracks as possible.
With my birthday fast approaching and not a whole lot on my plate to do, I decided to hook up my laptop to our turntable so that I could digitize a handful of these records that aren't available any other way by using a program called Audacity. (Which by the way, I used to record all the DEXTER & THE FOLLOWING podcasts.) I wanted to rock out to EG Daily's "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)" in my room or pump my fist up in the air to Mark Safan's "Win In The End" from the original TEEN WOLF soundtrack in my car! (I mean, have you ever listened to the actual words of that song? Freakin' amazingly written. Will include at the end of this post.*) And as I was in the process of doing this, I started to formulate a playlist in my head. I began assembling in my mind what the perfect mix tape would be for these particular songs. Essentially I wanted to listen back to a list of tunes that evoked my innocent and untainted love of all these movies I discovered in my formative years.
And so I began my epic 80's Movie Music Mix. As is the case with most mixes, I desperately argued with myself on what order would be the most appealing. Well, if I have "Eye of The Tiger" on there, I have to follow it up with "You're The Best," right? And if I'm putting a track from THE KARATE KID on there, I might as well go right into a track from THE KARATE KID 2 next! At one point, there was a good 4 or 5 song stretch that was so full of win, I started to get excited and feel like I should sign up and win a tournament or something. Hearing all these songs together made me smile and laugh, but also inspired me! And so, I wanted to share this feeling. I mean, that's the point of mixes to begin with, right? You want to be able to express yourself or share something you're experiencing that you can't describe in words. And so you use other peoples words and music to get that message across. I figured it would only cost me about $20 bucks to buy a spindle of blank CD-R's and a batch of envelope sleeves and one afternoon of my time to burn them all. I was going to do it. I was going to make by hand a shit-ton of mix CD's and hand it out to every friend I crossed paths with on my birthday.
THE FINAL TRACK LISTING IS AS FOLLOWS:
1. The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News (BACK TO THE FUTURE - 1985)
2. Back To School by Jude Cole (BACK TO SCHOOL - 1986)
3. They're So Incredible by Revenge (REVENGE OF THE NERDS - 1984)
4. One Way Love (Better Off Dead) by EG Daily (BETTER OFF DEAD - 1985)
5. Win In The End by Mark Safan (TEEN WOLF - 1985)
6. Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor (ROCKY III - 1982)
7. You're The Best by Joe Espisito (THE KARATE KID - 1984)
8. Glory Of Love by Peter Cetera (THE KARATE KID PART 2 - 1986)
9. La Bamba by Los Lobos (LA BAMBA - 1987)
10. (Don't You) Forget About Me by Simple Minds (THE BREAKFAST CLUB - 1985)
11. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel (SAY ANYTHING - 1989)
12. What Does It Take by Honeymoon Suite (ONE CRAZY SUMMER - 1986)
13. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship (MANNEQUIN - 1987)
14. St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion) by John Parr (ST. ELMO'S FIRE - 1985)
15. Meet Me Half Way by Kenny Loggins (OVER THE TOP - 1987)
16. Put A Little Love In Your Heart by Al Green & Annie Lennox (SCROOGED - 1988)
17. Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo (BACK TO SCHOOL - 1986)
18. Batdance by Prince (BATMAN - 1989)
I'm fairly content that I was able to squeeze the above selected tracks onto a 74 minute blank CD. I'm proud of the flow and feel of the whole thing. Sure, I messed around with it a lot. In retrospect, I might not have doubled up on 2 tracks from BACK TO SCHOOL, but I was just so in love with the idea of Dead Man's Party back to back with Batdance (the obvious closer) that I couldn't resist. I also had a few other oddities in my initial version such as Dan Aykroyd & Tom Hanks rap performance of "City Of Crime" from DRAGNET (1987) and The Fat Boy's "Baby, You're A Rich Man" from DISORDERLIES (1987), but that's what iTunes playlists are for! On iTunes, your mixes can be as long as you like. And so, I handed out that above stack to all my friends on my birthday, and they all reacted with surprise but also appreciation. "Wait... it's YOUR birthday. Shouldn't we be getting you something???" Nah, I wanted to share something that would spread positive vibes and have people think of me in that way.
And it worked beautifully! A few days later, my buddy Andrew Kasch and his wife Annette had given birth to their first baby daughter and he posted a pic stating that her first listen on the way home from the hospital was my 80's Movie Music Mix. My Killer POV co-host Elric texted me a few days later to say the mix was "cinematic sweetness." After posting about it on Facebook, a handful on non-local friends started asking about it, and I couldn't help myself! I made a few additional copies and started mailing them out to people. My friend Christina in Florida told me she got a little teary-eyed when "Put A Little Love In Your Heart" popped up towards the end because of how much she loves SCROOGED. (Me too! It's my Christmas Eve tradition!) And so, mission accomplished.
One of the beautiful things about making mixes and sharing music is that you have the power to touch people. Make them feel good. Spread positive vibes. Inspire and encourage them through words & music and in this case, the love everyone around my age shares with these particular movies. Think about it, that stack of CD's up above didn't even exist in any way, shape or form a few weeks ago. And now I've spread them not only across my local friends here in Los Angeles, but across the darned United States as well! So if you have the opportunity and time to share something that means something to you with the people you care about, just do it. It's worth it. It makes a difference. After all, that's the power of love...
*I was down to zero
Still an unsung hero
Waiting for my ship to come to shore
I stood empty handed
Like a seagull stranded
Watching all the other seagulls soar
I was slowly losing hope
Twisting frayed ends of the rope
In a suicidal fantasy
I was going to extremes
Losing sight of all my dreams again
I never thought I'd win
I was blinded by the pain
Running wild through the rain
In a parody of extacy
I was inches from the edge
Fingers clinging to the ledge again
I never thought I'd win
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Got to keep my cool
I am not the fool
Everyone expects to play me for
I could change the pattern
Steal a ring from Saturn
Forge myself into a man-of-war
I am equal to the task
I won't hide behind the mask
What you see is what you'll get from me
I am stronger than they think
They can force me to the brink again
But now I know I'll win
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
I will steal the thunder
Rolling out from under
Every cloud that's clashing in the sky
Like a true defender
I will not surrender
Why should I lie down for them and die?
I am equal to the task
I won't hide behind the mask
What you see is what you'll get from me
I am stronger than they think
They can force me to the brink again
But now I know I'll win
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
If you're here reading this blog, then I'm guessing that you may know me from one of my multiple previous creative endeavors. Perhaps from my 10 plus years as a writer/ web-journalist in the horror industry for Icons Of Fright (my co-creation with Michael Cucinotta), or as contributor to Shock Till You Drop, Fangoria or Gorezone magazine; former web coordinator over at the now deceased FEARnet; or as producer/ sound engineer from one of my podcast productions like the official DEXTER podcast 'Dexter: Wrap Up' or 'The Following official podcast,' or maybe even from the GeekNation produced weekly horror talk show Killer POV. Or perhaps you caught my passion project documentary THE PSYCHO LEGACY on DVD! Or God-forbid, you may even remember my stints as the frontman in the bands Pretty Polly or The Great Below. (Bless you if you do remember either/or, let alone know them.)
Or maybe you stumbled onto this link via a google search or something and are thinking, "who the hell is this asshole and why the hell does he think anyone would give a shit about his opinion on anything? Especially music! Hell, look at the shameless vanity displayed in the very first paragraph of his blog! It reads like a goddamn resume!" This is not true. I am constantly full of shame. And I am also currently jobless, so if you're a employer, please read my first paragraph as a resume.
Anyways, over the course of the last several months, my life has undergone some dramatic changes. And as I continue to wade through all these past events and try to piece together what it all means, I've rediscovered my love & passion for music again. Here's the brief synopsis on my life as it pertains to the influence of music and why it suddenly seems so relevant and fresh once more. As far back as I can remember, I've always felt extremely connected to music. I tried to sing along, karaoke-style to Michael Jackson and Prince records as an infant. As I got older, I had an inkling that I may have an ear for music, so I decided I wanted to learn an instrument. My first try was the violin in elementary school. All I recall about the violin was that the music teachers would never let me play with a bow. Instead I had to pluck along while others in my class advanced ahead of me with their damned bows. So I quit that pretty quickly. Next up, I signed up for trombone as I headed into middle school. It was me and one other kid in the band that played this particular instrument. I think I forgot my stupid mouth piece once or twice & hence because of this, I was immediately kicked out. The irony being that the other kid would also repeatedly forget his mouth piece on purpose in the hopes he'd be kicked out, but since he was the only trombone player in the band, they kept him around. Then I had a chorus class. I was stoked. Surely singing along to those Michael Jackson and Prince records was finally going to pay off, right?! Nope. Dr. Clarke took one listen to my voice and insisted I stay buried in the back of the class as part of the background vocals group.
That's a whole lot of rambling, I know. But the point is, my entire life, every "adult" I've ever met has tried to prevent me from following my natural instinct towards music. Or at least none of them helped nourish my desire to create my own music. Cut to several years later, my cousins Silvi & Marcello were not only pivotal in my movie tastes (these two forced me to sit through a double feature of 'A Nightmare On Elm Street' and 'Better Off Dead,' unaware of the little monster they had just created!) but they set me on the path of my ever-growing music tastes. First Silvi introduced me to tons and tons of "hair metal" bands. Sure, most of them were kinda cheesy, but I did kinda think Def Leppard rocked. And then Marcello was like, "no, no, no. You need to listen to Metallica!" And what'd ya know? This was a period in my young life where bullying and name calling had become a regular occurrence and hence I was suddenly very, very angry all the time. Metallica and bands like that seemed ideal. But it wasn't until around 91 when I first heard Nirvana that I decided, you know what? All those people that told me I shouldn't be playing instruments? Well, this band is telling me I CAN do that. And that's exactly what I did. I formed a band with my childhood best friend Steven DeJoseph. We went under many different names in those early days. Silly things like 'Mistrust' and 'Splatapillar' and 'DeeLusion,' but finally after watching A Clockwork Orange one afternoon, we settled on 'Pretty Polly.'
The reason I even bring any of this up is just to give a little perspective of how long it took me to finally accept how important music was to me and that I didn't care what anyone else that rejected me along the way thought of that. Once Pretty Polly was formed, I kept at it for a solid 10 years. All the way through my teens, and through community college and well into my adulthood and beyond. And while I'm proud of a lot of the experiences and times I've had with the musicians I shared either stage or rehearsal space with, I got to a point around 2004 where I was sick of it. I'd seen every aspect of the music industry. I had worked as an artist for 2 Tower Records locations on Long Island for over 7 years. I'd met and played with tons of bands, most of them unpleasant and arrogant that went on to find a lot of success. Even our band was constantly ridiculed and insulted because we weren't "hardcore" enough and sounded too much like "Nirvana." (Which I now think is actually a cool thing.) I'd worked with reps from indie labels, reps from major labels, played countless band showcases with multiple bands and it all left a very sour taste in my mouth. I was over it. It sucked. And I didn't enjoy making or even listening to music anymore. And so I retreating into something that made me happy. My love of cinema. In particular horror cinema. And I co-created Icons Of Fright for no other reason than I wanted to be happy again and talk about something that was pure, unfiltered and untainted from my childhood. My love of horror.
Ironically, it's now 10 years after that and I feel exactly the same way about the horror genre. It's no longer as fun for me or untouched or pure or unfiltered as it had been all those years back. If anything, as I've learned, every facet of your life at some point reverts right back to high school. Where you're constantly having to prove you're the "cool" kid and let everyone know all the cool people and things you're up to. Eh, I'm too old for that shit. And so inadvertently, I've slowly rediscovered my love of music again. And there's a few reasons for that.
For starters, my parents sold my childhood home in Long Island, NY earlier this year. I trekked back to NY in February of 2014 to help pack and sort through my old stuff. I boxed whatever I could and shipped it to myself in Los Angeles. Then in April, I lost my full time job. It's a bummer, but FEARnet (my dream job) was folded into Chiller as part of some merger and all FEARnet employees were let go. With a ton of free time on my hands, I started delving into those boxes and I found piles and piles of old photographs, demo cassettes, live VHS tapes and was reminded of some amazing people, experiences and times. Listening to rehearsals I hadn't heard in almost 20 years suddenly reminded me of the albums I was just discovering from Sub Pop at that time, or the upcoming shows I was excited to catch in town. Or the high school buddies I attempted to write songs with. That feeling of discovering something new and sharing it with someone in the hopes to turn them onto it too is unparalleled. It's magic.
Simultaneous to all this, I started discussing the possibilities of collaborating with a fellow filmmaker named Joe Maddrey on a new documentary project. I could not be more proud of 'The Psycho Legacy,' but it took 3 years of my life. I sacrificed relationships to finish it. I lost friendships along the way. I made a lot of rookie mistakes. And while I'm happy with what finally went out there into the world, it took a bit of my soul with it. I vowed not to do another doc again unless it was something I could truly get passionate and excited about. And I think Joe and I have concocted something amazing, based on our mutual love of music. (More on that soon! Promise!) I wanted to share with you guys the two books that have set me on this current path.
THE FREAK TABLE by Gavin Hignight
This one was written by my very talented co-worker from FEARnet Gavin Hignight. He gave it to me just as we were closing shop over there and I devoured it rather quickly during the early days on my unemployment. It's a semi-autobiographical novel loosely based on Gavin's high school experiences in the early 90's and what struck me immediately about it was how raw, pure and honest it is. It pulled a lot of mixed emotions out of me that I haven't felt since those high school years. I guess because I had such a difficult time as a fellow "freak" in those days, that now as an adult, I've tried my best to block out that whole period of time from my memory. But that also means I've been blocking out a lot of feelings and thoughts that initially inspired me to be creative. There's no more potent time for a person than when they're in high school and they fall in love with someone for the first time. Or when they discover a band that changes their whole outlook on everything. Or their friendships suddenly mutate and new "cliques" are formed. You look at death in a completely different light when you're experiencing it close to you at that stage in life. Reading this book opened the floodgates to how it felt to me to be a teenager again. And as hellish a time as that was for me, there were things I forgot about. Like the fact that I'd come home from school and write a new song just about every other day. I never even thought about it back then! Words and lyrics and music were practically second nature because I was relying strictly on instinct. On feelings. On pure emotion. The older we get, we can't help but over analyze every little thing. Hell, I used to draw all the time and dream of being a cartoonist one day! I'd forgotten all that. This book was the catalyst that led me to open up that old box with photographs in my closet that had been sitting there collecting dust for a few months. If you were friends with the skaters or goth kids or the other weirdos that sat at "the freak table," then I think you'll appreciate the memories and emotions this book evokes. Watch a video intro about the book from Gavin right HERE. Buy the book on Amazon right here.
LOVE IS A MIX TAPE: LIFE AND LOSS, ONE SONG AT A TIME by Rob Sheffield
This was actually the first of many recommendations I got from Joe and I absolutely loved it. Robert Sheffield is/was a contributing editor to Rolling Stone magazine and has written a handful of music oriented books, but this one in particular is a literal love letter to his relationship to the love of his life Renee, whom he lost very abruptly into their early marriage together. Each chapter opens with a scan of the front of a mix tape and the track listing is intended as both a time stamp and soundtrack to the memories he's about to divulge. Obviously, as I'm of a different age group, I don't recognize every single track listed, but I know enough of them. (Whole lot of Pavement!) And that's besides the point. What's beautiful about music and mixes in general is that you can totally relate and understand the vibe that a person is trying to express themselves with solely based on how they talk about the songs. The book is sad, it's bittersweet, it's heartbreaking at times, but also hilarious at other times. And it's a true celebration of love. And the love of music. You can buy it on Amazon right here.
I will explain a bit more how these books and some of the topics and stories I plan on writing about here in the future tie into the project Joe and I are cooking up, but that'll have to wait for later entries. If you're still reading and made it this far, I thank you! This is the outlet I needed and I hope it connects to someone, anyone. If even for a moment. 'Til the next one, I encourage you to come as you are...
I’ve got a confession to make. When I was about 17 years old, I was at MTV’s live taping of Nirvana’s now legendary Unplugged performance. I didn’t realize at the time just how important this gig would end up being, both for the band and for pop culture music history in general. I was just so happy I finally got to see my favorite band live for what would be the third of three consecutive times in a single week. About a year ago, Icons Of Fright co-creator Michael Cucinotta pointed me over to a Reddit threat where a Nirvana fan was asking a series of questions for anyone that was actually there for this monumental performance. It’s a rarity that I get to talk about the whole experience. It just doesn’t come up in regular daily conversation, so I decided to log on, reach deep back into the recesses of my mind and answer the questions posted on Reddit as best as I could remember. Seeing the reaction and responses from other Nirvana fans was so warm and rewarding that I always told myself that I’d one day write out a whole article chronicling the entire event. (Read the Reddit threat RIGHT HERE, I’m user Pollyweb1) This past November 18th marked the 20th anniversary of the Nirvana Unplugged performance (if you can believe it’s been 20 years!) and for Record Store Day this past weekend, the 2013 Steve Albini remixes of In Utero were made available on vinyl as an exclusive collectible release, so… what better time than right now to share this story?
How it all came to be requires just a little bit of backstory. You have to keep in mind that 1993 was a completely different time. It was long before the days of what you now know as the modern internet. No Napster, no iTunes, no downloading, maybe AOL at it’s infancy. That’s about it. And since Nirvana was my favorite band of all time, I couldn’t rest at just collecting every one of the albums and singles (in just about every conceivable format), I had to search for bootlegs. In those days, every weekend my buddy/band mate Pete and I would take the ol’ LIRR train into Manhattan and we had our whole itinerary of about 4 or 5 record stores completely mapped out. Some catered specifically to vinyl (his thing) and others carried a lot more bootlegs than you could ever possibly imagine. (Boots were more my thing.) It was always a gamble buying a bootleg CD, because they often ran for about $20 bucks a piece, which even now is pretty steep for a single CD, especially one with questionable sound quality. If you were lucky and the cashier at the record store was cool, they’d pull out a discman from behind the counter and let you skim through a few tracks before you bought it, but you never knew if you’d be granted that luxury. If I saw a title on the back of a CD I didn’t recognize, I’d pick it up hoping to discover a never-before-heard Nirvana track, hence proving I was the biggest fan on the planet. (Hey, 17 year old mentality.) I’d see something titled “Imodium” for example and be bummed that it was just yet another demo for “Breed.” I can’t count the amount of Nirvana discs I own that have “Everything & Nothing,” “Verse Chorus Verse” and “Sappy” which are all the same track. In other words, I owned a crap ton of Nirvana bootlegs and despite it all, I was always on the quest for more!
One day, I’m skimming the classified section in the back of an issue of Spin magazine and I saw a tiny little box that read “Nirvana Fan Club” with a listing for a PO Box address in Hoboken, New Jersey. Nothing more, nothing less. No details, no legit info. Nothing to confirm if this was a band endorsed “fan club” or simply a fan in New Jersey that put their PO Box address out there into the world in the hopes of trading bootlegs with another sorry soul such as myself. I bet on the latter and of course wrote to the Nirvana Fan Club, hoping that I’d at least make a new friend. And then… I heard nothing. This was probably roughly around March of 1993, so by the time a random letter showed up in my mailbox in November, 8 months had passed and I had completely forgotten about writing to the “Nirvana Fan club.” Yet here was a letter with the Nirvana Fan Club logo stamped right in the corner and that Hoboken address again. It turned out I did in fact write to a band sanctioned fan club run by the same people that did the Sonic Youth and Breeders fan clubs, which I recall at the time offered exclusive sound board recorded shows directly to fans for sale. But when I opened the letter, I didn’t get a catalog to a bunch of rare Nirvana goodies. I instead got this following letter below:
OK, to put this in perspective, I got this letter on November 12th. The actual Unplugged show was November 18th. So I had about 6 days notice to soak this all in and convince myself this was really happening. Also, the band were playing 2 full-on electric sets, one at the New York Coliseum on November 14th (2 days after my letter showed up) and again at Roseland Ballroom on November 15th. Was I really about to see Nirvana 3 times in one week? Heck yes, I was! I had been frequently traveling into New York City pretty regularly by then, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough going alone for this particular show into Hell’s Kitchen, especially considering it was an area I was completely unfamiliar with. So although he couldn’t come inside to the gig with me, my brother John (bless him) chaperoned. When I arrived at the venue, there was a considerable line out front but I don’t remember much more than that, other than everyone clutching onto a canned good for the Thanksgiving drive, which as the letter above stated was the admission price for the show.
There were about 10 of us specifically there from the official Nirvana fan club and it was all kids roughly about the same age as me, and much like myself, they were all accompanied by an adult. The adults were all taken into a waiting room while we were brought into the actual theater where the performance would take place. (It felt very Willy Wonka.) The majority of the main crowd directly in front of the band seemed to be made up of MTV studio execs and people from the network. MTV VJ Kennedy was right in the middle of that particular crowd, while myself and the other fan club members were stationed on a platform directly behind Dave Grohl’s drum kit. Not exactly the greatest view, but who cares! We got into Nirvana Unplugged!
I befriended the kid that sat next to me for the show. I feel terrible to say this but I think his name was Dave. It’s been 20 years and we didn’t have the benefit of adding each other on Facebook to remain friends after this, but regardless, we traded Nirvana stories, talked about our other favorite bands and speculated on what Nirvana songs would translate properly to an acoustic format. We were pretty much trying to guess the set list. As we were carrying on, Dave Grohl appeared in front of us, as if magically out of nowhere. How we didn’t notice him walk up is beyond me. But regardless, he was followed by Krist Novoselic and they both took turns chit-chatting specifically with the fan club members. I don’t remember much of what was said, because we were all kind of in awe when Kurt Cobain came over to talk to us just a few short moments later. I know Dave and I brought up the two live gigs they did in New York earlier in the week and at one point Dave asked Kurt if he had an extra cigarette. (He did, a Benson & Hedges.) And the gratitude he and the rest of the band showed us was truly amazing. They didn’t really talk to anyone else in the audience. My memory was they wanted to hang for a few minutes with the “fan club” kids. Kurt even leaned in and gave me, Dave and at least one or two other fan club members a big group hug. And then the band took the stage.
If you own and have watched the uncut DVD version of Nirvana: Unplugged In New York, then I’d say you’re not missing much in terms of how the actual gig played out. They opened with “About A Girl” from their debut LP “Bleach” to which Kurt joked “This is off our first record. Most people don’t own it.” And from there on out, they pretty consistently went straight through their set. They did not play any songs more than once. Just about every single track was recorded in one take, even “Pennyroyal Tea” which has a minor flub on Kurt’s part mid-way through. The only time they re-started a song was for “All Apologies.” They only made it a few bars into the song before Kurt stopped and started again. That’s why you can hear the audience reluctant to clap in the broadcast version. I think we all thought we screwed them up or something by applauding too loud the first time.
But even as one the most die-hard of Nirvana fan’s on the planet, I was baffled by the fact that I couldn’t identify a good chunk of the set list. OK, I knew “About A Girl, then they did “Come As You Are.” They followed that up with “Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam,” a cover of an old Vaselines song; not a total surprise as I’d heard them play a rock version of it on some bootlegs, although I don’t think any of us expected the accordion to come out. And actually, fun tid bit. This is the one time you can hear me on the CD. When Kurt introduces the song as “this is song by the Vaselines,” you’ll hear a “whoo!”, “woo” and a “yeahhh.” I am that “yeah.” I know. It’s not much, but as a result, well… my voice now appears on a multi-million selling record!
(That little red arrow in the upper left hand corner is pointing to me.)
Anyways, I digress. I did not recognize the next track at all, and I could tell most of the audience didn’t either. They didn’t announce it as a David Bowie track until after they had performed it. But then they got back on track by playing a handful of songs from both “Nevermind” and “In Utero” before bringing out The Meat Puppets. And yet again, at the time none of us knew who the hell Meat Puppets were, nor did the band think to introduce them! Even Krist gets their names wrong during their intro. Kurt mentioned the names of the songs, but we still didn’t know who this guest band was until maybe in between the 2nd and 3rd cover of theirs? I mean, it’s rare for any band to divert from their usual set for a good 10-15 minutes to perform not one, not two, but three tracks from another band! That part was definitely bizarre, but as Nirvana has always been great at doing, they introduced me to a new band to follow with The Meat Puppets.
(Handwritten set list by my buddy Dave who sat next to me for the show.)
I remember the band was very, very playful and fun in between songs and there was a point where they entertained the notion of requests. People were screaming for things like “In Bloom” and “Sliver” which Krist started playing for a few seconds before the rest of the band laughed it off. I kept screaming “Play Everything & Nothing!” to dumbfounded looks. It was the “No Alternative” secret track I was referring to which at the time had been known as “Verse Chorus Verse,” but I was stupidly yelling out an obscure title for an obscure song because that’s the title it was credited to on all my bootlegs. (The CD was called ‘Wipeout’ if anyone else remembers it!) Kennedy at one point screamed out “Play Rape Me!” To which I recall Kurt saying, “Is that you, Kennedy? MTV didn’t let us play it at the MTV Music Awards so we’re definitely not playing it now.”
They closed with the Leadbelly cover “Where Did You Sleep Last Night?” Another personal favorite although I’d never heard Nirvana cover it. I was familiar with it from Mark Lanegan’s first solo record where Kurt and Krist played on that particular track. Needless to say, being in that room when Kurt started screaming that last verse was just as powerful in the room as it is when you watch it back now. It’s a timeless performance.
Once they finished that track, they were done. There didn’t seem to be any inkling of an encore of any sort. Instead, they thanked the crowd and Kurt yet again came over to us, the humble fan club members who were just stoked to be there. We chit-chatted for a bit more as a group, and Kurt signed my limited edition first pressing In Utero record with a regular pen (it’s all I had on me) right on the front cover. He signed it as “Kurdt,” his Bleach-era persona. I gave him a quick hug and took off to find my brother, although now in retrospect, I wish I had gotten Krist and Dave to also sign my record. I’m pretty sure they were already gone by then anyways.
Looking back on the entire experience is very special to me. If you look at the time table, this was late November 1993. Kurt Cobain suffered a drug overdose and was comatose while touring in Italy in March of 1994. On April 5th, 1994, a mere 5 months after the Unplugged performance, Kurt was dead. It’s really amazing to think of just how huge an impact Nirvana had on pop music in the short span of 3 years. From 1991-1994. For those of you that were in high school like I was, I’m sure you remember it well. Everything changed. Everything, because of Nirvana and Nevermind. The cultural landscape, MTV’s video rotation, fashions, trends, music, bands, everything. So for that, I will always have a special place in my heart for Nirvana and that entire period of my life. Because it was among the best time of my life and it inspired me in so many ways to open up, be creative and most importantly, just be myself.
Post Script: The last thing I’d like to add is a minor regret. I’ve been living in Los Angeles now for about 5 years and a year or so back, I was at a local pub not too far from where I live here celebrating my best friend’s birthday. It was literally a small group of maybe 6 of us in one corner of this bar, another group of 3 a few tables over and a handful of people sitting on stools circling the bar. To our surprise, one of the fellow’s drinking at the other table was none other than Dave Grohl with 2 buddies. Some of the people that were sitting at the bar went over to him periodically just to say hi, tell him they were big fans and offer to buy him and his friends shots. I opted to not bother him, and carry on with my friends in our corner. I do wish now in retrospect that I went up to him, because rather than gush and say the traditional “I’m a huge fan” speech, I instead would’ve said, “Mister Grohl. When I was 17, almost 20 years ago, I sat behind you at the Nirvana Unplugged show. And now all these years later to see you sitting at the same local pub as me & my friends, well it’s just a trip. And it’s great to have had you in my life that whole time.”
Maybe one of these days I will get to tell him just that.
Ya never know…
UPDATE: I keep forgetting to include this. It's a paragraph excerpt from the excellent book EVERYBODY LOVES OUT TOWN: AN ORAL HISTORY OF GRUNGE by Mark Yarm that talks a bit about the Unplugged experience from Kurt's point of view. This was lovely to read...
*Editors note: This interview was originally published September 22nd, 2010 on Icons Of Punk.com. It is reprinted here for posterity!
Back in the early 90′s during the hayday of Seattle based indie record label Sub Pop and amidst the much publicized “grunge” explosion, there was one band from their ever-growing roster that completely set itself apart from the soundscape of all their other label mates. While SUNNY DAY REAL ESTATE were building the foundations of what would eventually become “emo” and THE SPINANES (a 2-piece outfit) were churning out lush melodies over pounding drums, Rhode Island’s SIX FINGER SATELLITE were the ones making a tremendous amount of noise behind walls of loud guitar amps, spacey synths & the screaming howls of frontman J. Ryan. Remember that Cantina scene in the first STAR WARS movie? SIX FINGER SATELLITE is the band you’d find tearing up the stage there on punk rock night. Sample tracks from their first EP Weapon or their first proper full length The Pigeon Is The Most Popular Bird to see (and hear) what I mean. While the band continued to evolve on follow-up albums Severe Exposure and Paranormalized, the core members have always primarily consisted of J. Ryan, (drummer) Rick Pelletier and (guitarist) John MacLean up until they disbanded in 1998 following the record Law Of Ruins. They dabbled again with new music in 2001, which wouldn’t be heard until the 2008 release Half Control, but now a newly revitalized version of the band is back with both Ryan and Pelletier at the forefront. Considering the shroud of mystery that’s always surrounded the band, we got to chat candidly with J. Ryan and set the record straight on the history of the band. Read on! - By Rob Galluzzo
Rob Galluzzo: First of all, I have to say it’s such a pleasure – not only to talk to you, but I was pleasantly surprised several months back to discover the My Space page and see that you guys continue to have new music coming out! Because I have such fond memories of SIX FINGER SATELLITE from my early 20’s and on. So, it’s great to have you guys back.
J. Ryan: Right on.
I saw you guys at The Cooler in New York City and I think it was around the “Severe Exposure” period and I had no idea what to expect. And we stupidly were right against the stage in the front…
The show where I smashed the ceiling out?
Yes! And I remember another funny moment – you walked right up in my friend Steve’s face and just stared at him for a long period of time. And he didn’t know what to do, so he just… hugged you. (Laughs)
(Laughs) Yeah, I remember that.
I was telling that story to Mike C, the co-creator on Icons Of Fright and he was saying “I miss when bands were dangerous! When you weren’t sure what was going to happen when you went to see them live”. So anyways, that’s my history with the band. Let’s talk about the origins of SIX FINGER SATELLITE. Did you guys all know each other? Did you play in local bands together? How did the first incarnation of SIX FINGER SATELLITE come together?
It was actually the first band I was ever in. We all met in college. (Guitarist) John McLean and I were in school together and he was learning guitar, and he & I were friends that definitely had similar musical tastes. He was a little more of a hardcore/punk rock guy. I was never really into hardcore so much in high school, but my record collection expanded dramatically when I was 20. I devoured a lot of stuff, and he devoured a lot of music. He was a radio DJ and there were a lot of cool things with independent indie rock at the time. Bands that we really admired were the STT bands, stuff on Homestead Records, stuff coming out of Chicago. Bands like BIG BLACK and NAKED RAYGUN. There was this little club in Providence called Rocket and we used to go see bands there all the time, people were always putting on shows, and like anybody else that likes music, we decided to start playing. We had a couple of early incarnations (of SIX FINGER SATELLITE), we probably played our first gig in 1989 or so and it wasn’t until the line-up from the “Weapon” EP, where it all came together – it all happened pretty fast. One time when we were just starting to look at playing outside providence and Boston, we went to play a show in New York, and we got paid like $15 dollars or something. This woman in Boston who we knew through friends began helping us book gigs, she was kind of connected and we started playing better shows in NYC – CBGB’s etc – and slowly starting to do better. We were actually playing the New Music Seminar, and Sub Pop came to see us at a show. That “Weapon” EP was actually our first demo tape that we recorded. It was still very warm in our hands, probably only 2 or 3 months. We gave it to them and they signed us. We got called back from Sub Pop and they said “let’s put this out”, so they put it out as our first record.
Wow.
We’d really been playing seriously from that incarnation for probably 2 years at the most.
Well, it’s pretty amazing to go from recording this EP and then having that put out by Sub Pop.
Yeah, it was pretty cool! We were playing with GREEN MAGNET SCHOOL, who we were friendly with. We were creatively connected – kind of like weird brothers. We were all kind of riffing on the same thing, but slightly differently.
You did a split 7 inch with those guys too, right?
Yeah, yeah. They were getting ready to work with Sub Pop on something and they were already tied up with this label in California. We were on the bill with them in New York and Jon Poneman came to see them play and happened to see us. At the time, we were doing some cool covers. We did this really rippin’ cover of “Final Solution”. I don’t even think he saw too many songs. He might’ve seen our last 2 songs and maybe the cover. He asked if we had anything, and he went back & listened to it and signed us. Plus, they were working with Nirvana money at the time, so…
Yeah.
They had made an assload of money without even realizing what to do with it, so they just started signing bands, ya know? We happened to be one of the lucky ones to take advantage of the fruits of…
The fruits of “Nevermind”! (Laughs)
Yep. All the happy accidents.
So, how soon after this period did you guys start recording “The Pigeon Is The Most Popular Bird”? Was it right after getting signed?
We recorded that in early 1993. We had a bass player, Chris Dixon who left the group. We got a new bass player Kurt Niemand. Actually we did a tour in late 92 with The Poster Children down south. We were working on a lot of the songs for the Pigeon record, probably at least a good 4 or 5 of them on that tour. The songs were works in progress on that tour. Writing for the Pigeon was relentless. We had a strong work ethic and practiced at least 3 nights a week for 5-6 hrs a shot. With the WEAPON stuff, there was this really big wall of sound, the guys were playing Les Paul’s through Marshall amps but they were also playing in different tunings. So it almost had this Sonic Youth-y meets Aerosmith kind of vibe, which I always liked. The ability just to riff out a really big rock riff and at the same time be able to play these really extensive parts. Actually, the time leading up to the “Pigeon” record – we would just make these things rock. It wasn’t that we were constantly writing rock songs. We had one song that was like 23 minutes long. (Laughs) We played a show once in Providence and we sound-checked with it, we played the whole thing.
(Laughs) That’s awesome.
And then we opened the set with it, it was awesome. (Laughs) So, with the “Pigeon” stuff, we had a change in approach, as far as what we were going to do and not do. The music and style became more focused. I was really getting into things like WIRE and some of THE BIRTHDAY PARTY stuff too and a lot of that stuff shows up on that record. The Pigeon was definitely influenced by our record collections – both from a writing and recording standpoint.
Were all the songs for “Pigeon” written when you went in to record it?
Most of them. Actually, I would say just about all of them were written. There were a few things we moved around in the studio. There were some vocal parts that we reworked, but most of the proper songs on that album were all written. The in-between pieces, we just jammed to get those.
The CD is the entire album, but then I remember the records were split up into 2 LP’s? Why was that?
Yeah, that was us trying to find a way to do it on vinyl and do it interesting, and screw around a little bit. More so because Sub Pop would do anything at the time. “You want to make 2 records and spend a ton of money?” “Sure! That’d be great!” (Laughs)
(Laughs) Well, what’s cool is… I love the “Weapon” EP, but “Pigeon” just blew me away the first time I heard it. On the first one, you guys were playing together. But “Pigeon” was the first record that really made me conscious of the instruments. There was one guitar panned all the way to the right, and then there was one guitar panned all the way to the left playing something completely different. Even to this day, when I play it for people, I always pan left and right to show people what you guys were doing on that record. Was that part of the battle plan going in?
Well, we definitely had an aesthetic with what we were going for. We studied a lot of records going into that, like for how we wanted the drums to sound. Things we wanted to do with the guitars. How to go after certain vocal sounds. But yeah, it was definitely a lot of thought that went into that, in terms of how we wanted to present it – musically, stylistically, we were starting to doodle with synth’s. What’s interesting is there’s a whole slew of music from that period that shows up as the companion piece set that we sold through the “Machine Cuisine” record. We were doing a ton of 4 tracking. It was mostly Rick. Rick did a lot of 4 tracking. I had a 4 track around that time, and caught up. We used to go to each others house and basically just bring a bunch of crap over. Like “Ok, what are you going to bring?” “Oh, I’m going to bring my moog and I’m going to bring the mutron phaser.” “Ok, I’ll bring the guitar, bass and drum machine” and we’d just sit down and we’d spend the afternoon 4 tracking. So there was the public face of the band, which on that record was very guitar-centric. And then the synthesizer interludes, which in a lot of ways are drone-y – they’re cool as mood pieces. The music itself was definitely pointing towards the future, but kind of off the beaten path. Behind the scenes with mostly Rick & I doing a lot of 4 tracking and a lot of synth stuff. When we got to the “Machine Cuisine” record and then the “Severe Exposure” record, it was almost like we were gradually introducing synth as a viable instrument to the group. Because, when you’re in a band of guys and you have 2 guitar players like on “Pigeon” and they’re “guitar players”. Need I say more? With guitar players, it’s usually all about the guitar player. They’re in front of Marshall stacks and they’ve got all their gear. So it took a while to change the thought process with what instruments could make rock music. I think it took John (MacLean) a while to embrace the synth side. No matter what you might hear out in the press these days. (Laughs) Very creative guy however, regardless of the instrument. I have piles of rehearsal tapes and am always amazed to hear some of the stuff he would come out with. Very cool.
There’s a bit of a gray area between “Pigeon” and “Machine Cuisine” and “Severe Exposure”. I was wondering if you could shed some light and set the record straight – were there internal problems within the band?
Oh, just the usual – well, I don’t know if it’s usual these days. But being in a group in your early to mid 20’s. There was friction just like any other group. From a creative standpoint, I don’t think we ever lost that desire – the nucleus of the band was definitely John, Rick and myself, in the sense that there weren’t any rules. Kurt ended up leaving the group and sadly passing away just before “Severe Exposure” came out. He had some problems. We really made “Machine Cuisine” as a single for Sub Pop. The band had kind of imploded after touring for “Pigeon” and then we bounced back and started writing songs. We found that with synthesizers, it was the best way to embody the rhythm section, lead and vocals. We approached it very much like a rock band. There was a time when all 3 of us were sitting around with synth’s facing each other in this little triangle. (Laughs) Playing synthesizers! And I remember saying, “Hey guys. I’m not going to play, I’m going to be the singer.” So, Rick handled the drum machine and the bass parts, and MacLean handled all the lead guitar parts, if you will. And I did the vocals. So, we practiced, we set up like that and we played a couple of shows and dragged every freakin’ amp in our practice space to the shows. It was horrific. It bummed people out. Especially in Providence. The last time we had played in Providence, we had played for the “Pigeon” record and we had been on tour for 2 months. The band had been so tight and so insane. Everyone was in various states of mind. There was a lot of tension. It was a totally over the top. When we’d go play the set, people would be like, “What the hell’s up with you guys? You’re like… evil!” (Laughs) “Yeaaah, we’re just about ready to kill each other.” But, from a live standpoint, it translated into really strong and energetic. When I step back to think about it, it was probably really intense to watch. So we follow up that show with a bunch of weirdo synth crap. Awesome in hindsight. It was a tough gig to get through however at the time.
I remember the first time I saw you guys was for “Severe Exposure” and it was totally intense. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but by that tour you didn’t play anything prior to “Severe Exposure”, right?
No, we shed that stuff. We always moved forward. That was another interesting thing. When we bounced back, about a year later, we played Providence as an electronic 3 piece, people were just like “What the?” It was a really hard thing to do, especially when we were playing all old, out of date analog synthesizers. And drum machines that were pulled from organs! It wasn’t the sleek, digital, analog combination shit you see now.
Lyrically, has there ever been any specific influence? Was there ever any approach to any of the records in terms of what you wanted to say lyrically? Obviously, with the name of the band, I got the impression that you were a band doing a “sci-fi” kind of thing.
I think that’s always been in the back of my mind. Just from a word standpoint. It evokes some cool imagery for me. Yeah, I guess I’ve been there, but I’m not a geek for sci-fi stuff or anything. We weren’t going for that, trying to be a “sci-fi” band. But in time, I always felt it lent itself – I think it was really um, it’s almost like a cold and anonymous thing that I always link to space.
Anything that takes place in space feels cold and anonymous.
Yeah, yeah, and it lends itself to music. We always wrote as a group. It wasn’t like I was writing vocal parts and bringing them in. It really all came out of jamming. I always tried to get the vocals to try to fit (for my own sense obviously) sonically, and how they fit from a mood standpoint, and how they lent themselves to the music. So, it’s almost like I would try to get the vocals to how they interpreted the sound. That’s always been my approach.
For “Pigeon”, a lot of the songs titles and even lyrics reference a “Larry”. Is there a real life “Larry”? Is there a friend of yours name Larry that you choose to reference constantly?
That’s just an in-joke with the group. (Laughs)
I didn’t know if that was your version of a Joe-Blo name or something. (Laughs)
Yeah, it probably was just a Joe-Blo. I think it just came up one time while we were talking about it. I was always the one that was naming the songs. I think there were certain points where I’d think “Ok, let me see what ridiculous fucking song title I can come up with and see if the guys go for it.” (Laughs) And they’d be like “Oh, that’s a good title.” So, I’d say, “Ok, that’s the title!”
Like “Save The Last Dance For Larry”! Yep, that’ll work! What’d ya think of that?
(Laughs)
Sure. Awesome!
Exactly. Exactly.
I remember from “Severe Exposure” to “Paranormalized”, you guys played out live a lot! I remember seeing you in New York several times. At The Cooler and at CBGB’s. Was that you guys wanting to get out there more? Was there pressure from Sub Pop to tour more?
There wasn’t pressure from Sub Pop. Sub Pop never really knew what to do with us.
Yeah, because I couldn’t think to pair you up with any of the other bands at the time.
Yeah, exactly. Look at Sub Pop’s roaster. Like THE SPINANES, THE GRIFTERS, SUNNY DAY REAL ESTATE, bands we had nothing in common with. They never really knew what to do with us. What I always find interesting too is that at the time we were kind of mining this territory with the end of the guitar kind of thing. Everyone always used to say, “These guys sound like Devo. Devo meets Big Black.” And I was like, well, the thing I always liked about Devo was more their aesthetic. Devo was kind of a cruel band. If you listen to their songs, they’re kind of cruel. That’s what I always liked about Devo more than anything. I always thought their rhythm section was just great. But from that kind of New Wave-y “we’re going to put on funny hats”, I never saw us in that kind of realm. But I think it was always an easy thing for music writers and critics to draw from, because we were playing at a time when every band sounded like PAVEMENT or YO LA TENGO and we were doing something different and it was easy to just sort of pigeonhole us in that little spot.
Well, I was very thankful that you didn’t sound like any of those bands. (Laughs)
(Laughs) I don’t even know if I could if I tried. As far as Sub Pop, they didn’t know what to do with us, and at the time, our tours up until that point hadn’t really been all that good. We had somebody who was helping to manage us, but we just weren’t on the same page with where we wanted to play. We had done a couple of cross Canada Sub Pop tours with ERIC’S TRIP and POND. While they were really fun and great people to be on the road with, it wasn’t our crowd. We did another one with ZUMPANO and HEARTSHIP POST. And I’m like, “Ok. We’re driving across Canada with these guys. Cool guys. Fun tour. Playing all summer, but not really our thing.” We did a tour with Mike Watt on one of his big records. The big one he had all the superstars on. We thought what are we doing with these guys? So right after that time, I kind of took over control of the management of the group and booking. Our biggest M.O. was that we just wanted to play with bands that we liked, that made sense, and so we got a new booking agent. We started getting booked by Billions out of Chicago. And they did a lot of the Touch & Go bands. So around that time, we toured with SHELLAC. We toured with THE JESUS LIZARD a bunch of times. We did a pretty long tour with TRANS AM. And then we started playing a lot on our own and we brought a lot of Providence bands out with us on tour. Have you ever heard of “THEE HYDROGEN TERRORS”?
No, I don’t think so…
You should check them out. They were on Load Records. You’d like ‘em. So we did some tours with them, and this band from New Bedford called AStoveboat. So we were headlining our own tours with some friends & some local groups. We made an effort to get out and it was almost like… we were trying to figure out how the hell to promote ourselves? The label didn’t really know what to do with us. They just gave us money to make albums.
Which is great, but that’s only half the battle!
The booking agent got it, but it wasn’t until “Severe Exposure” that people really got it. So yeah, we played a lot in those years. “Paranormalized” was really an attempt to make another record and get back out on the road really fast. I think that record kind of reflects that.
I dig that record a lot!
Yeah, it’s a good record, although it’d be different had we played those songs live before recording them. We would kind of test them (on the road) and then bring them back and re-work them. But a lot of songs on that record, we just wrote and recorded. Then when we went and actually played them live, they took on a whole new light. That record would’ve been more interesting if we had recorded it after we toured. It definitely would’ve been sonically different. A lot of the songs on the record probably wouldn’t even be there.
That would’ve been interesting. I wanted to ask about “Half Control”. Now, is it technically new or something you recorded a while back?
We recorded this stuff just before “Law Of Ruins” came out in 98. We had a change in the band, MacLean quit and we had a tour all lined up and ready to go, so we had to get a replacement to do the tour. We got this guy Alex Minoff from the band GOLDEN. He’s a DC guy. We did our tour and we wrote a couple of things with him, and did a little tour after that later that year in 98. Things eventually got put on the back burner. Everybody had things going on. About in late 1999, Rick was playing with these guys in this band Landed. They’re 2 guys from Providence, Joel Kyack and Shawn Greenlee. Rick said, “Hey, I’ve been playing with these guys. I’m playing drums. Why don’t you come down & we’ll work on some songs.” So I started going down and we started playing some new songs. And we had some discussions and we wrote a set, we started playing a bunch of shows, we were kinda gigging around, but we were gigging as SIX FINGER SATELLITE. We played a couple of our old songs, but we only played maybe half a dozen times. But we recorded those songs in 2001. They hung around for a while, but we never really mixed them properly since we recorded them ourselves. Rick and I took a couple of stabs at it back in 04-05 to try to mix them. Rick at the time was playing with THE CHINESE STARS. He and I had talked about playing again. I had moved out here for work and we always kept in touch. Finally, the time seemed right, and we decided we were going to bring this stuff to a studio and mix it properly. So we did that last year and Load Records in Providence put it out. Basically, Half Control is stuff that we recorded in 2001 and mixed in 2007.
“Half Control” is awesome. I threw it on, and it sounded like a brand new record. What I remember of you guys from the last time I saw you, it felt like picking up on the next beat. That’s what that record feels like to me.
I think it definitely does, and those songs really came back to light with the mixing. With it being mastered and all, those songs really work, and I think they’re really good, and they’re really simple. But it definitely picks up on the same vibe. At the time, it was a transition from what we had been doing. I don’t think it misses a beat. Obviously, there’s different members on it from the guitar and bass standpoint, but Rick’s drumming is off the charts on it. And I felt also too after the “Law Of Ruins” record, which I liked but I think from a recording standpoint I never was particularly happy with the final mix on that thing. I thought a lot of my parts were kind of buried. Personally for me it’s probably one of my best performances on vinyl. On record. Whatever you want to call it. (Laughs) Floating around in the ether. But “Half Control” was really satisfying to hear it years later and have it sound better then I remembered it.
Rick is one of my favorite drummers, he always blew me away anytime I saw you guys live. But… is it true that he’s now playing guitar in the latest incarnation of SIX FINGER SATELLITE?
He plays guitar on A Good Year… but what he will be doing in the future remains a mystery. He is a very talented musician and can do it all. He might end up as our one-man brass section!
You’re latest album is A Good Year For Hardness. Can you talk a bit about the creative process on this record and how making this album compared to the process on your earlier stuff, especially now that Rick has changed roles in the band? How long did it take to write, rehearsal, finesse and then record these songs?
We wrote that those songs over the course of a year. I travelled back east on weekends when I could and we would write and play. It was a long distance effort but because we are seasoned professionals, the results are damn good.
You guys also have “The Machine Cuisine Companion Cassette available on iTunes now. Does it compromise all the material you talked about earlier? The demos between Pigeon and Severe Exposure?
Yes. It now sees the light of day again. Beware!
A few years back on the MySpace page, you had a ton of outtakes and rare tracks from the Severe Exposure & Machine Cuisine. You also hinted at demos dating back to the Weapon-era, Law Of Ruins outtakes, pre-Pigeon live sets (those I’m most intrigued in!). When and how will this material surface? (I notice SnoCap doesn’t seem to exist anymore, and there’s no listing on CD Baby for your stuff)
Not sure. We want to avoid dumping all our dirty laundry on the floor for people to sift through. We’ll see what happens. We need to proceed with a careful editing ear soothe high level of quality music is maintained. Integrity matters!
Lastly, music has changed so much now with the influence of the internet. Had it not been for the internet & you’re My Space page, this conversation between us wouldn’t be happening right now. What do you think of SIX FINGER SATELLITE now in the internet age? Has it been beneficial to the band?
I’ve thought about it. Believe me. When we were playing in our “hey day” if you will, this kind of stuff wasn’t around. And I was talking to people who are currently playing in bands and they’ll find out the band I was in and ask all sorts of questions. You have to realize, we were playing shows when you couldn’t get on your cell phone on the way to Pittsburgh and text or jump on you’re My Space and drop some announcement about where you’re playing. There wasn’t that kind of immediacy of it, but at the same time, there were still really vibrant scenes thriving in cities that I think were allowed to exist. I think without this digital internet age going on, it allowed us to be and grow organically. Ya know, if you wanted a record? You had to go and fucking find it. (Laughs) It wasn’t like you were going on-line and just downloading it just like that. We would go on tour and go to cities, and find all the record stores and search them! We all had a list of stuff we were looking for. And we basically would tear into a record store and be like “I got the S’s!” “No, I got the R’s!” (Laughs) We’d be fighting each other for records! And you’d wind up hearing stuff or finding stuff. It was definitely work! It’s great to have a lot of stuff at your fingertips, but I don’t know. I think in a lot of ways, it… makes you lazier. It doesn’t make you appreciate stuff as much.
(Laughs) Yeah, it’s not as special! The art of the hunt!
This immediacy has sort of… wiped out this sense of time and place. Which I think for music scenes, and that kind of stuff to grow, it’s important. You can be a band in Denver and no one in Denver could ever have heard of you and you could be the biggest thing in North Carolina. It’s true! It’s cool, but it’s also weird. So, from my perspective, I’ve never been that big of a networker. But I approach a lot of these things still almost as something new.
It’s weird, it’s weird. I mean, I remember I had to hunt for that “Machine Cuisine” 10 inch record! It was not an easy task finding that thing! Yet, your latest stuff is a click away! And even though I downloaded it, I still want the physical CD of it!
I’ve almost philosophically gotten my head around a lot of this stuff. But at the same time, I look at the internet as a tool to promote and get your name out there. If you’re making good music, you’re making good music. I just think its given people more access to stuff. As far as making bands successful over night, if you’re going to be a flash in pan, you’re going to be a flash in the pan whether you’re on the internet or not. As a tool, it gives people infinite possibilities to get their stuff out there, which I think is super cool.
