Thursday, December 18, 2014

"Why Don't You Get A Nose Job?" - The Cruelty Of Human Beings


A few blogs ago, I mentioned the movie ROXANNE, the 1987 comedy starring Steve Martin and loosely based on the "Cyrano de Bergerac" play. Since it played in steady regular rotation on HBO in the late 80's, I'm sure I must've seen the movie a dozen times back as a kid. But that's also probably the last time I actually saw it and hence, I only had very vague memories of it. Once I mentioned it, I looked online and realized a Blu-Ray of it existed and so I ordered it right away.

Usually when I add a new Blu-Ray to my collection, I'll throw it on and skip to a few scenes through out just to get a quick idea of how the transfer looks. I went to 2 particular scenes at random. The first is when Chris (Rick Rossovich) first meets C.D. Bales (Steve Martin) at the firehouse and he can not stop starring at his large nose. It's exaggerated, of course, but it suddenly triggered a nervous feeling I hadn't even thought about since my teenage years. I skipped ahead to the next chapter and it stopped on a scene where Steve Martin is begging his doctor to just chop it off. "Cut me, just cut it off!" He's sick of his giant nose and just wants to look normal. This resonated with me and hit me so hard, and reminded me of an incident involving a hammer that I completely forgot about. I wasn't prepared for it.

I know, right? A light hearted romantic comedy from the late 80's and it was having this effect on me?

Well, here's why. When I was about 22 years old, I had a nose job.

I never wanted one. I never felt I needed one. And if you look at my baby pictures, I look totally normal. Somewhere in the late elementary school days was when all of a sudden, I grew a large bone protruding Roman nose.

As a kid, you don't know any better. It's not like you have much control over what you look like, besides maybe the cloths you wear, which let's face it, isn't really a thought in a young boy's life until maybe high school. I tended to relate to the "nerdy" characters in all the 80's movies I saw. 

Probably around junior high is when the full blown taunting and teasing began. It's funny how creative little kids can get when it comes to the most mean-spirited of insults. OK. My last name was Galluzzo. I had a big nose. So I got things like Gonzo (a beloved MUPPETS character that I grew to hate because of the comparison), Ga-Nose-Oh. That's pretty good. And of course, the vastly original "big nose." Because of my constant embarrassment, I started hunching over and looking down, which later caused tremendous back & shoulder problems. But it also earned me a few new nicknames - "Hunchback" and "Igor," coined by a girl I had a crush on. Well, until she started calling me Igor and that caught on. Mind you, there were dozens of other nicknames thought up for me, I've just chosen to subconsciously bury them in my mind. But this was a daily occurrence. Every single day, when I went to school, I'd hear one of the above.

I was brought up Catholic and so I was forced to go to Catechism (religion lessons during my final period at school). My memory is fuzzy, but if I recall correctly, I remember trying to talk to one of the girls in my class and her refusing to acknowledge me because I was "ugly" and "weird." I was always extremely sensitive, even at that young of an age, so naturally, I found a corner and started crying in it. One of the Church aides found me, asked me why I was crying and I explained; not only the events that had just transpired that afternoon, but in general the constant daily ridicule I got at public school. She said to me, "Do you know what Jesus did when he was on the cross and people were spitting and throwing things at him? He said to God, 'Forgive them. Forgive them, Father for they know not what they do.'" And that's kind of when I developed the philosophy that these people don't know me, they don't know what they're doing, and I'm going to be better than them. Somehow.

I'd like to say that this new-found rational made me impervious to future taunts, but it only got worse and worse. I only thank the Lord, Crom, Krampus, whomever, that this all didn't happen at a time when social media existed.


I found some solace in a few places. Firstly, through movies. Horror movies, of course were my favorite. I related to the monsters and usually saw the regular people as the villains, and hence felt at home with the genre. Mind you, I'm talking about Frankenstein and the Phantom Of The Opera and the Wolfman. Not dudes like Michael Myers or Freddy Krueger. I knew better in those cases. I just reveled in the idea of being a "Dream Warrior" and defeating the wise-cracking bad-guy who was the big-bad bully. Or being Tommy Jarvis, a kid my own age, who conquered something that everyone else would be too scared to face. Eventually I started to go to horror conventions and being around kids just as enthusiastic as I was about horror movies and how they were made, for the first time in my life, made me feel like maybe I wasn't such a freak. And through horror, I just grew to have a love of the fantastic and cinema in general. Two movies I loved, related to, and that would make me cry on a regular basis were David Lynch's THE ELEPHANT MAN and Peter Bogdanovich's MASK. The reasons were obvious. Here were two completely beautiful souls and no one in the world could see the beauty in them, except for a very select few. I totally understood.


The other big comfort for me was music. As I mentioned in my first blog entry, I had the desire to try to play an instrument of some sort, but no one ever supported or encouraged that. And so, I didn't bother until I was much older. My cousin had gotten me into some metal bands and then just as I was entering high school was when Nirvana exploded and brought all those Seattle based bands to the mainstream. Every new band I listened to opened up my world a little bit more. And so I retreated into my headphones. I'd have them with me constantly at school and without fail, the second the bell rang or I was anywhere but class, I'd pop them on and listen to music. It was when they weren't on that I was reminded of my appearance. I remember this older kid named Angelo (let's call him out now, shall we?) would walk by with his fellow senior friends, point at me and scream, "hey, doesn't that kid look like a giant rat?" And of course, everyone would laugh and follow up with something along the lines of "someone should kill that ugly looking rat!"


Another time, I was walking through Cedarhurst, most likely to Record World to pick up a new tape and although I had my headphones on, I didn't have anything playing at that moment. And I walked by a group of the skateboarders, my supposed friends, at least they pretended to be to my face or when they wanted free ice-cream from Baskin Robbins, my high school job. The leader of the bunch called out, "hey, man! Why don't you get a nose job?" They all started laughing, and I pulled off my headphones pretending like I didn't just hear what he said and I asked, "What?" "Oh, nothing man! What's up?" On the plus side, that same kid went to jail for a while, so yeah... fuck you, dude. Karma.

Don't worry, it wasn't ALL bad. I remember there was this beautiful girl named Tara that would walk with me to Foodland Express every day for lunch, and it was primarily because she wanted to listen to this "Yellow Ledbetter" song by Pearl Jam that was a b-side on one of the import singles I bought from Slipped Disc. (Long before it got radio airplay.) Granted, we didn't talk a whole lot, but I didn't care. A really pretty gal wanted to listen to a song that I loved daily, so that's all that mattered. Had I any confidence at that point, maybe I would've asked her out, but alas, when you're made fun of every single day, you just assume this person is out of your league and can't possibly like you back. Remember that Baskin Robbins job I mentioned? There was a gal there that I turned on to a lot of the same music I liked and she was absolutely the first real love of my life. But I never did anything about it. Why? Because I believed everything that every asshole at school said about me.


So, what's next? What can I do with all this frustration and anger and self loathing? Might as well make music of my own. And so I picked up the guitar. My buddy Steve decided to start playing drums around the same time, and we started jamming in his garage. I had so much angst in me, but I focused it all into the music we were making and the lyrics I was writing. I started buying notebooks and filling them with random thoughts and words and observations about people and how they treated each other. It gave me an outlet to vent what I was feeling, and so I put my all into it at the time. No thought whatsoever about the future, about college, about what to do with my life. I was able to block everyone out and have my own little club with my best friends whom I communicated with through music. It also made me embrace me. Who I was, what I looked like, what I had to say. If you think I'm weird looking? Well, that's your problem. I like being unique. I like looking different. Because back them, everyone looked exactly the same. And I decided to just make fun of them back. Not take any of it seriously. Laugh at how plain they all were.


All of this did a number on my head, which eventually caught up to me. I was rather content and oblivious for years after high school, but there were still moments where I'd hear the wise-cracks. Sometimes it'd be from someone on line at the bank or the supermarket, who would smirk and point at me. Then, it got to the point where I'd be at a red light, a car load of kids would pull up next to me and they'd all start laughing at me. And hell, I even caught some of my family, my own cousins making fun of my appearance at parties. I couldn't take it anymore. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be the person I knew I was inside unless I changed my appearance. I even sat in my living room one afternoon with a hammer in my hand thinking - well if I hit myself really, really hard in the face with this, and break my own nose, then they'll have to take me to the hospital and fix my nose. Yes, I contemplating breaking my own face. And then, thankfully I didn't have to.

I, at that point, had been serving time at my second Tower Records location. I had pretty great benefits and I went to the doctor because I was increasingly having trouble breathing properly. And it turned out I had a deviated septum, quite common actually and that he recommended surgery to correct it and improve my breathing. I seized this opportunity and figured, well if you have to break my nose for this procedure, then I'd like it reshaped too. And it was as simple as that. I was 22 years old, went through this whole painful ordeal, which honestly wasn't nearly as painful as the 22 year mental abuse I sustained before it. And suddenly I had new found confidence. With confidence, I also finally started standing up straight and my back corrected itself, and I grew to my current height, 5'10''!

Now just to be clear, I didn't do this for ANY one but myself. We, as people are constantly evolving and trying to find ways to better ourselves, whether it's going to the gym or eating better, etc. And so I didn't feel at that stage in my life I could truly have the confidence to attain my ambitious goals if I were constantly in self doubt. I wanted to remove that doubt from the equation. And sure enough, after that procedure, things worked themselves out and I forgot all about it up until now. Catching 2 quick scenes from ROXANNE opened the floodgates and reminded me of all of the above.

It's funny, I was sharing these stories with my friend AJ a few days back. And we started playing the hypothetical game. What if you had a time machine, what would you go back and change? What would you do different? I'm sure on instinct, your brain would immediately produce a dozen examples of things you wish you could go back and do all over again. But the more we both started talking about it, the more we realized, well wait. Won't that change who we are today? Think about it. The person you were as soon as you woke up this morning. Imagine changing one tiny detail from your life and that wouldn't be who you are today anymore. Would I have followed a different path had I not gone through all of the above experiences? Would I have started Icons Of Fright? Would I have even picked up the guitar and felt the need to write songs? Would I have had the courage to follow through on some of my crazy dreams over the years? Every experience you go through makes you the person you are today. That's when I realized I don't want to change a damn thing.

I am the person I am meant to be, and that's just fine. Take it or leave it.


*For Joseph Merrick, Rocky Dennis and Vincent Van Gogh, Don McLean's "Vincent (Starry, Starry Night):"

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Return Of THE GREAT BELOW: Making A Record In NY!


It's really difficult for me to articulate in words what it was like to go back to the East Coast with the sole purpose of attempting to "make a record." All I can say is on November 1st, my best friend AJ dropped me off at the Burbank airport and then picked me up on the evening of November 18th. Everything in between those dates feels like a fever dream! But in a good way. The last time I was in NY was in February of this year, helping my folks gather their belongings as they prepped to make the move across the country to Arizona and at that time I vowed never to return. A bit over dramatic, I know, but true. Back then, I also was under the impression that I'd probably never play a gig again, would never be in a band again, let alone write a new song. Yet, all three of those things happened in the span of the last month proving yet again that ya just never know.

So, the main question. Why now? Well, why not? But in actuality, it was just timing.


The photo above is The Great Below circa 1999 at the Classic Cafe in Islip, NY. My primarily band for approximately 10 or so years of my life was Pretty Polly, but back in 1999 through early 2001, Pretty Polly was on a break and I wanted to do something different. I'd grown up with and always respected Jay Catropa as a friend and musician. I'd seen him play in a bunch of local bands and decided it'd be fun to play with a drummer completely different in style from Steve. I recruited Pete McGeary, my friend and record-shopping/ show-going buddy since the 5th grade to join us on electric guitar. Pete was one of the first Pretty Polly bassists and it just seemed like a good & ideal combo. And it was! I wanted to do this weird semi-acoustic band that had loud, pounding drums (to match the emotional intensity of what I was doing lyrically and musically) and add an electric guitarist to bring out the poppy melodies and transform it into an unlikely rock band. No bassist. We didn't need it. My acoustic guitar tended to pick up enough low end and act as a bass anyways and because of that, it made us sound very unique. I naively thought we'd play coffee houses and venues that catered to "acoustic" acts. But I remember sending an audition tape to the CB's Gallery, a joint right next door to CBGB in NYC that booked less rockin' bands and to my surprise, they replied with "you're too loud for the Gallery. Just play CBGB's again." Which we did. Twice!



Fast forward to 14 years later, I found all of our old demos and live tapes & when listening back, in retrospect I felt like... wow, these might be the best songs I've ever written! I didn't think so at the time. You're just kind of in the moment and doing what comes naturally. It's difficult to be objective when you're in the thick of it, but now with a little perspective, I grew to be very proud of this particular band and these particular songs. Which made it all the more disheartening when I realized we never properly recorded any of it. All we had were some bootleg demos. Thankfully, when I sent everything to the guys, they felt the same way and also had the strong desire to rectify this. We had unfinished business. And again, we didn't have some bad, messy break-up or anything. Life just got in the way and pulled us all in different directions, personally. So since I was in between jobs and had a small pocket of time open, Jay invited me to crash with him at his place back on Long Island and record a Great Below album in his basement where he'd built himself a modest little studio. That first Sunday back was very surreal. I don't think I'd seen Jay for about 10 years or so. But when you grow up with someone, it never feels like that when you finally get back together. And right on that first night, Pete came over, we fired up the amps and practiced in Jay's basement for the first time in 14 years. And it felt like we hadn't missed a beat, or a day. It was all still there.



So the battle plan quickly fell into place. We were going to spend about 3 nights consecutively rehearsing and re-familiarizing ourselves with the old songs. Then Jay had booked a gig for Friday, November 7th at a local Long Island pub. The place was under new management and this was their grand re-opening, so we were to provide the entertainment for the evening. Pete had a work obligation, so unfortunately it wouldn't be a full on performance from The Great Below, and I felt uncomfortable suddenly being a "solo" acoustic act, so Jay and I intended to rehearse as a two piece the night before the gig. Once we got that out of the way, we could focus on the actual recording portion, and maybe squeeze in a few new tunes I came equipped with. It was surreal to think it, but it was true... my band was back together.


One of the things I didn't factor into this trip was that both Jay and Pete worked regular day jobs. In fact, all of my friends do. And so the only time we could really be productive was usually between the hours of 6-10PM. Which meant I also didn't have time to catch up with old friends because my nights were booked. But for the first week, Jay let me borrow his car and I made the best of reacquainting myself with Long Island. One of those early mornings, I had breakfast with my high school friend Jenn who was wearing a "Slipped Disc" T-shirt. To put it into perspective, Slipped Disc was my northstar. As soon as I discovered music, I discovered Slipped Disc Records in Valley Stream, NY right on Rockaway Ave. It was the only place in a pre-Internet world that had tons of import CD singles, all of which usually boasted a rare and obscure B-side from all of my favorite bands. At one point, there was a rock venue right across the street. This was long before my time, but there were photos hanging up at Slipped Disc of the accompanying in-stores that came with those shows; pictures of the owner Mike with Metallica and Slayer and Skid Row in the early days of their respective careers. This place had history! Hell, even Pete worked there for years after we finished up community college. And sadly, as was the case with most mom & pop owned record stores, it ended up closing down in the mid-2000's. However, when I asked Jenn where she got the shirt, she replied in the same spot where the store was! It was converted into a coffee house and named "Sip This," in honor of the historic music store that once stood in its spot. I had to go and get a Slipped Disc shirt immediately!

And so I did. I popped in, awkwardly asked for a shirt, which wasn't a big deal since they had a mini-shrine to Slipped Disc right behind the main counter with merch. But then I decided to hang out and have a cup of coffee. After all, I had my laptop with me and was looking for a little writing inspiration. And sure enough, that afternoon was probably the most productive I had writing-wise the entire time I was in New York. I quietly sat in the corner and sipped my large coffee in the same spot where I had once skimmed through record bins and bought Nine Inch Nails' 'The Downward Spiral' or first acquired all of my Nirvana vinyl, all of which I still have to this day. It was beautiful to be sitting in the spot where so many of my musical tastes and likes were forged and solidified.


Now, I can't be back in New York and not get some genuine pizza, right? A lot of people have their spots in NYC, but with the exception of Ray's (the real deal original) on 6th and 11th (which is now long gone), most NYC pizza is pretty eh. I was always a bigger fan of the Long Island chain Gino's. And so I made sure to conveniently catch up with my cousin Danny who lived right by the one I grew up eating at so we could order a pie for lunch. In the last 5 years, I've since found some pretty decent spots all over Los Angeles that serve adequate pizza. But I mean, really. Look at this pic below. Nothing compares to a good slice from Gino's!


Other mild changes? Just a few here and there. I spent my teenage years working at a Baskin Robbins location in the heart of Cedarhurst. But after that, when I first started community college, I was working for the Long Island chain of drive through groceries called Dairy Barn. Yep, there were enough lazy people in Long Island that would drive up and bark at me to bring them their milk and bread and eggs directly to their car. The movie CLERKS resonated with me quite a bit because of my Dairy Barn experiences, the main difference being that we were literally in a freakin' barn which made the NY winters working there brutal! Anyways, while out for a nice sushi lunch with my PSYCHO LEGACY editor Jon Maus, I discovered that most of the chain had been bought out and shut down or converted into privately owned drive through grocery shops. The few that remained dropped the "Dairy" and simply became "The Barn." I wonder if dairy had suddenly become a dirty word in the last several years, but if that had anything to do with it, then I imagine the stores would've been renamed "Gluten Free Barn" or something equally as ridiculous. Every thing changes, yet sort of looks the same. Or as Martin Blank said, "you can never go home, but you can shop there."


The morning of the gig came and I was equal parts nervous and excited. Nervous because it'd been over 9 years since I last performed a gig of my own original material. But more so because, as is always the case, I lost my voice that morning. Yep. It happens more times than you'd think, but it's a common affliction that conveniently strikes when you need it to the least. It'd been years since I've attempted to sing in a band, and so the previous 3 nights at rehearsal, I really pushed hard, primarily to prove that I could still do it. I was older, more patient and a little more educated on how to properly use my voice through breathing exercises and whatnot. Back in the day, I was a lot more angst filled and just did it out of sheer anger and frustration. I'm too old for that now, but regardless, I woke up the morning of our show nervous that my voice was totally gone, I wouldn't be able to perform and I'd end up humiliating myself in front of my old friends and family. But I quickly remembered you always feel that before any live show. It was colder than usual (of course) and there was a bitter wind in the air, but regardless, I got to the venue, took a nice shot (or three?) of Jameson to clear out the ol' wind-pipe. And as soon as we began performing, the adrenaline I totally forgot about kicked in and got me through. Jay and I performed 3 Great Below tunes, and out in the audience was my musical soulmate Stevie D of Pretty Polly. Completely unrehearsed, I got Steve up on stage to join me and we launched into 3 Polly songs. Despite being confined to only an acoustic guitar and brush sticks, it felt really great to play those songs again, and with Steve no less. I can't explain it, but some people, you just have unique connections to. I definitely have it with Jay. I most certainly have it with Steve and that night was truly special. I closed it all off with a cover of "Wonderwall" by Oasis, because... why not? It's my gig. I can play whatever the hell I want. (Watch the entire gig below!)


(Huge, huge kudos and thanks to Jon Maus for shooting the entire performance.)

Now, it's weird. At the end of the day, I have no illusions. It was a small gig at a bar in Long Island. 90 percent of the patrons were there for a birthday party and could care less about the live music aspect of it. Those that were there for the show consisted of old high school friends, supporters from the band days and family that had never seen me perform before. The spontaneous nature of the whole gig added to it's charm and regardless of attendance, vibe, whatever... it was really special to me and that's all that matters. Hell, members of Pretty Polly past were there, including 2 different bassists, the Matt's, Campbell (left) and Capoziello (right) below:


So with the show obligation out of the way, and a handful of rehearsals which confirmed we knew the songs still, it was time to get down to business! And then... I woke up sick. Yep, I spent the remainder of my time in NY battled the beginnings of a cold and sore throat, the consequence of me stupidly being fully unprepared for November New York weather. But I wasn't going to let that stop me. We had an album to make! And so we got right to it.


It's funny, there's something that Dave Grohl has been quoted as saying that totally rang true to me during this whole process. To paraphrase, he was essentially trying to make the point that it's OK that we have all these great tools on our computers that allow us to sound like music wizards these days; perfect and in tune. But to never forget about the human experience of making music. The idea of collaborating with others and creating things from scratch out of that shared experience. It's easy to forget that, especially for the younger generation of musicians and kids that grow up having life experiences on-line and don't get the opportunity to play loudly in a garage with other kids just sucking really bad and continually playing until you only sort of suck. And eventually you get to the point were you sort of don't suck anymore. At least, not totally. Hell, I'm guilty of relying too much on myself and computer tools in latter years. For a while after the band days, I focused on doing a little composing for local friends independent projects and I always appreciated that work because it was solo, on my own terms and at my own pace. Even prepping for this trip, I made a few acoustic demos of me playing some potential new songs which I emailed via MP3 to Jay and Pete. But as soon as we dabbled with the new songs, I was immediately reminded of what makes a band a band.


Fact: Jay and I have a tremendous amount of experience both in bands and performing live. For us, we've done it so much, it's second nature. I can send a demo to Jay, he could listen to it a few times and fairly quickly make up his mind on what drum beats he'd like to play. The two of us can go over it 2 or 3 times and boom. We've got a new song and we're both fairly content with it. My collaboration with Pete is totally different but beautifully unique. In re-playing the older Great Below songs like "Eve" and "Breaking The Potential Fate Barrier," I had a tough time remember how the hell these songs came together? I mean, in both cases, I'm pretty much playing the same 3 chords over and over again. Those are two songs that I feel uncomfortable playing unless it's with both Jay and Pete. (I didn't dare attempt them at the acoustic gig!) Working with Pete is different. For us, it's all about vibe and feeling. We need to sit down together, guitars in hand and go over new songs one piece at a time. So I'll play the chords of the verse or the chorus to a song over and over and over again for a good 15-20 minutes and it's amazing; Pete doesn't play along or follow along with the same chords. He listens. He'll occasionally pluck away and some semblance of a melody will slowly come to the surface. And then magically, at some point, the most beautiful guitar melody that I could never have thought up comes out of him. Seriously, he hears something in my songs that I could never hear. And if not for that, they'd just be a bunch of solo acoustic demos on my laptop without any magic or power or resonance to them. Here's an example. I had an old solo demo for a song called "A Symbol" that I always intended and wanted to be a Great Below song in our initial run. For whatever reason, we never got to it. I've lived with this song for 14 years. Jay and I fairly quickly decided on the drum beat that should accompany it, but I sat down with Pete and we went over the chorus for several minutes. Literally, going over it again and again. Out of nowhere, this is the melody that came out of him:


Simple, beautiful and something I could never have come up with myself. Now, I'm dying to hear the full band version of this track to see how it all comes together! That's what being in a band is all about. Coming up with something that wouldn't feel right if any member wasn't present for it.


The recording itself went rather quickly. The most important thing to get down first is the drum tracks. And so, we settled on 8 old songs, worked out the basics for 4 new ones and Jay locked down all 12 tracks pretty much in the span of one-two sessions. We recorded "scratch" guitars for reference. And then I laid down all the acoustic guitar tracks. We plugged in my electric acoustic direct, as well as put a mic above where I strummed, this way, we could play with two separate tracks, one that's bright and picks up all the notes, and the other that has some low end and bass and mix them together on the final mix. It makes for a beautiful, well rounded acoustic guitar sound. After that, we focused on all the vocals. This was a challenge for me in that I was battling illness the entire time, so could only push myself for so long before my voice gave out. That said, what we did get was great and I felt so much more comfortable tackling that side of things than I ever had before. I don't consider myself a strong singer, let alone a good one. Sometimes I go out for karaoke with friends and most of them have ridiculously amazing voices. Me? I'm alright. But what I've learned is... that's me. That's my voice. For better or worse, whether I like it or not. Embrace it. That's what I sound like! So if you hear me singing something, then it's a Polly or Great Below song. And I've come to terms with that. We all have our own unique voice and mine is what makes me sound like me. Here's a sample of what our opening track "The Way Down" sounds like in very rough form, first without vocals, then with vocals:



One of my all time favorite tracks we've ever played is a song called "Eve." I was so happy to finally record it and hear it back and see it start to take shape as a full fledged track. The next 2 samples are very rough versions of that song. The first being the 2nd verse, the second being the ending of the song. Keep in mind that the electric guitar is just a "scratch" track, meaning that Pete hasn't recorded his final version of it yet. And my vocals also aren't properly mixed. But I think the intent and vibe is prominent in these samples.



And last but not least, here's a very rough sample of the chorus to "Down & Low," a favorite of ours to play back in the day. This is just acoustic guitars, drums and vocals. At the time, Pete hadn't laid down his parts yet, so I promise, it'll be more full and awesome before you know it.


There was one night that I got to take a break from the whole band thing and enjoy myself for a few drinks in the city. Before leaving Los Angeles, we had recorded an episode of the Killer POV podcast with filmmakers and all around great human beings Larry Fessenden and Glenn McQuaid. So I took the train to Penn Station, met up with the great Adam Barnick and we trekked over to Avenue A for drinks at a pub called 2A, the same spot that Fessenden hand wrote the script for HABIT, and also where we did this long, out-of-control booze fueled Icons Of Fright interview with him. ICONS co-creator Mike C joined us, as did Jeremy Gardner (THE BATTERY) who happened to be in the city that evening and while this diversion from my narrative can easily be miscontrued as a blatant attempt for me to name-drop, it's actually to prove a point. It's easy (especially in Los Angeles) to lose track of the things that matter. What's important. Pretty much everywhere you go, everyone's living in a bubble and dictating the level of importance based on personal politics or the drama of the week. But meeting up with these guys, sharing laughs and stories and booze put things into perspective. None of that stuff matters. It's all about the work. Always stay focused on the work you're trying to create and just be a good, decent person to the people you care about. That's what this night out in the city reminded me of. When people you admire and respect are pulling for you and sending words of encouragement, and they genuinely want you to succeed in whatever it is you want to do, well that means the world.


On my last night in town, Jay, Pete and myself sat in Jay's basement studio and listened to all 12 tracks in a row. I think all of us were a little blown away by the fact that in under 17 days, we recorded 12 songs. A whole album of material. And it was all really good. At least to us it is! Another part of being any sort of artist is to be comfortable with what you've created and trust in the final product. We still have a long road to go with mixing. But listening back that night, I felt like we had made something special. And again, we're not the sort of band that people were waiting for to get back together. Hell, nobody knew us back then. Nobody knows us now! But it doesn't matter. The record is special to me. And it's the last thing I expected to even exist when this year started off. I can't wait to listen to it again, completed. And share it with all of you.


Sometimes you really just need to put things into perspective. Seeing various friends from all aspects of my life back in the place I grew up really made things clear for me. High school friends. Family. Band mates. Former loves. Etc. They all hold a special place in my heart and no matter what, I put my heart and soul into what we made in that basement for the first half of November 2014. I hope that shows through in the final album. But if I've learned anything from this whole experience, it's never too late to make any and all of your dreams come true. Trust in your instincts. Trust in your passions. Follow through. Follow your heart. Your first impulse is usually the right one. If you want to see old friends? They're always a phonecall (or text) away. You want to make new music? Pick up a guitar and just do it. You want to draw? Do it. Do what makes you happy and make it all count. If I can do it, you can do it.


* A few special thanks. Thank you Lisa Catropa for opening up your home and family and for all your hospitality as your husband and I made a lot of noise in the basement. Really means a lot to me.

** THANK YOU, Darren Bousman for your continued friendship and support. This guy was in the middle of freakin' directing a movie and he still texted me regularly to check how the record was coming along. It meant the world to me. I think because he completely understands what it's like to have tremendous passion for something and feel like maybe no one fully understands that passion. Doesn't matter if they do or not. As long as it means something to you and you have faith in what you're trying to express. And if you have a few friends that have your back, that helps too. You've got my back. I've got yours, brother. 



Sunday, October 19, 2014

A Normaltown Halloween 2014 Mix (How AJ Bowen Won Halloween This Year)


I know what you're thinking. We're in the middle of the Halloween season. I'm primarily known as the "horror" guy. (I was even introduced last night to a stranger as the "king of horror," much to my embarrassment and mild amusement.) So where the hell is my Halloween themed mix?!? This should be a no brainer, right? I love music. I love horror. I should be able to put the two together with no problem, right? Believe or not, this has always been a difficult task for me. AJ Bowen once gave me a Halloween inspired mix CD shortly after wrapping on THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL, which I still have & which thankfully introduced me to some amazing bands. So I started brainstorming.

Now, I've done plenty of articles on ICONS that touch upon my love of horror music. For example, MY TOP 10 HORROR THEMES, and then 10 MORE HORROR MOVIE THEMES FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN and finally my TOP 5 SDTKS OF 2013. Those for the most part specifically focus on horror "scores." I haven't quite perfected the art of making a good Halloween mix that combines a few horror themes here, a few horror themed rock songs there, and so on. But I figured I'd probably use "Dream Warriors" by Dokken (an obvious but rockin' choice), and maybe Siouxsie & The Banshees "Face To Face," even though it's from BATMAN RETURNS and hence is probably more appropriate for Christmas since that's a Christmas-themed movie. Sean once used "Wolf Like Me" by TV On The Radio, so that's a solid choice. I'd probably sprinkle a bunch of John Carpenter themes all through out. And the music from the impossible-to-beat FRIDAY THE 13TH Nintendo video game. OK, I've got a foundation here.

Then I got together with AJ the other night and he handed me a freshly burned CD mix that read "A Normaltown Halloween 2014." The next morning, I picked up a handful of magazines I'd been meaning to catch up on and threw on this new mix as I read. And guess what? Everyone can go home now. AJ has won Halloween for 2014.


The good news is his mix making abilities are still top notch and this is the best mix I've gotten in ages. The bad news is I can't top it so I won't even try. Good news again? I now have a full year to think up my own Halloween mix. It's a great mix of Halloween inspired songs, movie score themes, and recognizable songs from Halloween themed movies. He freakin' put on "No Shelter," the song that plays during the Halloween dance in THE KARATE KID for Crom's sake! (Reminding me once more that THE KARATE KID is in fact a Halloween movie.) How can I possibly beat this?! I can't. Instead I'll share it with all of you. Without further ado:

A Normaltown Halloween 2014:

1. Halloween TV Commercial by Tommy Lee Wallace & Alan Howarth (From HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH
2. The Innkeepers by Jeff Grace (From THE INNKEEPERS)
3. Psycho Killer by Talking Heads (From BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON)
4. Transformation by Miles Goodman (From TEEN WOLF)
5. Headless Horseman by Kay Starr
6. Dexter Main Theme by Rolfe Kent (From DEXTER)
7. Halloween (She's So Mean) by Rob Zombie & The Ghastly Ones
8. Michael Kills Judith by John Carpenter (From HALLOWEEN)
9. No Shelter by Broken Edge (From THE KARATE KID)
10. The Twilight Zone Theme by Jerry Goldsmith (From THE TWILIGHT ZONE)
11. Cry Little Sister by G Tom Mac (From THE LOST BOYS)
12. Main Title by John Carpenter/Alan Howarth (From HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH)
13. Natural Trail To Hell by Weird Al Yankovic (From the album IN 3D)
14. Cemetery Polka by Tom Waits
15. He's Back (The Man Behind The Mask) by Alice Cooper (From FRIDAY THE 13TH VI: JASON LIVES)
16. Halloween by Siouxsie & The Banshees
17. Haunted by Rob (From MANIAC)
18. Killer Klowns by The Dickies (From KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE)
19. Monster Mash by Bobby "Boris" Pickett & The Crypt-Kickers
20. Li'l Red Riding Hood by Sam The Sham & The Pharaohs

I seriously love this mix. I already ripped it and saved it as an iTunes playlist and plan on listening to it straight through the rest of the month. The only thing I personally would've added (or swapped) is the HALLOWEEN III main theme. It's a good ambient track, but I've always loved the theme titled "Chariot Of Pumpkins." (Below) It could be my favorite John Carpenter piece of music and I listen to it more and more as we barrel towards Halloween day.



Got any Halloween themed playlists of your own? Would love to see 'em!


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

90's Rockers (When "Shuffle" Decides Your Playlist)


 A few days back, I had the sudden urge to create a playlist of some of my favorite "rockers" from the 90's. After all, that time period was when I was at my most impressionable as a music fan, and while some mixes you're aiming to have a eclectic range of emotions, full of peaks and falls, sometimes you just wanna rock the F out. From start to finish. From first track to last.

So that was my goal and I wanted to keep it to a very specific time period, primarily mid to late 90's. "Public Witness Program" from Fugazi's "In On A Kill Taker" for example always gets me going. (And is arguably the band's most catchy, commercial sounding song, despite their consistent stance of being anti-commercial.) I started culling tracks from another blog entry I started working on about some of the most influential records on me personally. If I have Fugazi on there, got to have a little Jawbox too. Well then that also means I've got to grab a Smile track. Couldn't forget Pond, one of Sub Pop's best hidden secrets to this day. And then some of the later bands like Errortype: 11 and Rival Schools (I know, I'm mildly cheating the 90's thing with them. They formed in 99, the track I chose is 2001, but I'm letting that slide because it's awesome.) And yeah, the Soundgarden track is from '89, but let's face it, we all heard it in the 90's!

But here was my initial dilemma. When it comes to the perfect mix, order means everything. You have to have the right flow, the right sequence to place these tracks in for maximum effect. And this is usually a time consuming process that takes multiple attempts and several tests. It's a rarity to get your perfect playlist in the first try. Possible, just not probable. But I just couldn't crack this one. I think initially it was because every single song was a rocker. If I had a mellow track, I could use it to break to flow, manipulate the mood, etc. So after a handful of failed attempts to find the right order, I jumped in my car, picked this playlist and hit the "shuffle" option. Maybe I'd hear a combo of 2 or 3 tracks in a row that worked well enough and that'd inspire me.

And would you believe it, the following playlist was exactly the order that the random play option picked! It just worked perfectly as soon as I stopped thinking about it and left it up to fate to decide what order to put it in. Ever do that? Put your trust and faith solely in the "shuffle" play option? It's glorious when it works. So, here's my 90's Rockers Mix, complete with You Tube links so you can check out the tunes for yourself if you don't already know 'em.

1. Jackpot Plus! by Jawbox from "For Your Own Special Sweetheart" (You Tube Link)
2. Glass Sparkles In Their Hair by Pond from "The Practice Of Joy Before Death" (You Tube Link)
3. Staring At The Sun by Smile from "Maquee" (You Tube Link)
4. Public Witness Program by Fugazi from "In On A Kill Taker" (You Tube Link)
5. Papercut by Sense Field from "Killed For Less" (You Tube Link)
6. Take A Bow by Errortype: 11 from "Some Six" (You Tube Link)
7. Energy Dome by Snapcase from "Designs For Automotion" (You Tube Link)
8. Stars by Hum from "You'd Prefer An Astronaut" (You Tube Link)
9. Used For Glue by Rival Schools from "United By Fate" (You Tube Link)
10. Hands All Over by Soundgarden from "Louder Than Love" (You Tube Link)
11. Round by Sunny Day Real Estate from "Diary" (You Tube Link)
12. Hang Out by Thurston Moore from "Psychic Hearts" (You Tube Link)
13. Hit Liquor by Shudder To Think from "Pony Express Record" (You Tube Link)
14. Possum Kingdom by Toadies from "Rubberneck" (You Tube Link)
15. The Mouth Of Babes by Smashing Pumpkins from the "Zero EP" (You Tube Link)




And I'm sticking by that! Sure I could probably mess with it a bit more, and who knows? It clocks in at about 56 minutes which means I have plenty of space to add more tracks to it. (I'm sure I will update this at some point with Sprinkler and Six Finger Satellite and Handsome.) But I like that this all came together by chance. Life is simpler when we leave it up to chance sometimes. These songs all remind me of a much simpler time when I didn't worry so much about every freakin' single thing.

Here's what I mean - last weekend, I went apple picking with my friends Axelle and Neil and we were supposed to meet some of their neighbors there. We got there and the irony being that none of us could get decent cell phone reception, something that no horror fan would ever buy in a modern horror film... and yet it actually does happen! Anyways, Axelle was trying hard to keep calling to coordinate with her neighbor friend while Neil and I waited under a shaded tree. He said to me, "Remember before cell phones? We'd all just show up where we're supposed to, walk around and somehow we always managed to find each other."



That reminded me essentially of the entire time period that I discovered every song above. In my band days, whenever we were driving to do a gig in Pennsylvania or some part of New Jersey, we had no cell phones or GPS. We were oblivious to the task and yet somehow, magically, we'd always find our way to the venue or place we were supposed to play. Part of what made that unknown ride safer was the comfort of the music we listened to on the way there. That's what all of these above songs reminds me of. Driving on random parkways in States I was unfamiliar with, with my best friends hoping that we'd show up to some venue or bar we'd never been at and that someone, anyone would be waiting to watch us perform.

So even though this mix was originally intended to be a "rocker" to get me pumped, it in actuality just reminds me of a simpler time.

Where we left everything up to fate.

And just like the way I determined the order, I left it up to fate.



Monday, September 22, 2014

Grunge Lite! (The Art Of The Cover Song)


I've always been a huge admirer of cover versions of songs, when done right. And while I can go into a lengthy debate over why certain covers work over others, or list off my top 10 covers of all time, or break down multiple covers of the same song (something I rather enjoyed doing on my short lived website Massive Hysteria - RIP), I have a very specific idea for this particular post. No it's not to lament about the 'Grunge Lite' compilation by Sara DeBell from '96. (Which, sadly, wasn't that great.) But close!

I'm fascinated by songs that we grew up once holding so dear to our hearts as really deep representations of our angst-ridden youth and then suddenly hearing them transformed into soft-spoken balled-esque reinterpretations. Often to accompany some upcoming movie trailer. And this gimmick works! Because it gets me every time!

I'm sitting in the theater waiting for some new movie to start a few weeks back, and up pops the trailer to the new Liam Neeson movie 'A Walk Among The Tombstones.' Looks alright enough, probably entertaining, but suddenly I'm drawn in, because I hear this beautiful melody of a song I know I'd heard before, and it takes me a moment for it to catch on. Why it's Soundgarden's 'Black Hole Sun,' but performed in a very intimate fashion with a single piano and female vocal track. It's gorgeous and mesmerizing and I immediately look for it on-line after coming home from the movie to discover it's by an artist named Nouela. I end up downloading this version below, along with a cover of 'The Sounds Of Silence' off her Bandcamp page.

Black Hole Sun by Nouela (from 'A Walk Among The Tombstones') (Trailer)


I love it. And afterwords I find this slightly more polished "band" version with SWANN that features a bit more instrumentation, which is the actual one used in the trailer. And it gets me thinking of other examples where either "grunge" songs are covered as ballads, or used for movie trailers. Well, it's not a grunge "hit" per se, but the other time where this struck me as an amazing way to present a song in a completely different context than the original version was for the 2009 'Last House On The Left' remake trailer, which features a cover of Guns N' Roses 'Sweet Child O' Mine' as performed by Taken By Trees. Switching the intent to factor into a parent's pain over the loss of their child gives this version a whole creepy new tone, even though I'm sure that's not what Taken By Trees probably intended with their version!

Sweet Child O' Mine by Taken by Trees (from Last House On The Left) (Trailer)


Well once I started down this rabbit role, I decided I might as well keep following this path to see what else I discover. Now, the first person to successfully do this sort of reinterpretation was actually Tori Amos when she did 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' for her EP 'Crucify', and at the height of Nirvana popularity no less! I do love her version. And there are literally dozens of great versions of this song out there (none of which match the power of the original, of course), but I recently discovered this mellow acoustic version by singer/songwriter Daniela Andrade, which is rather beautiful.

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Daniela Andrade


She's got several other various covers on her You Tube page, along with plenty of originals and they're all in that vein, so if you dig this cover, I encourage you to poke around and check out more of her stuff. Well, the more I got to thinking about the most popular songs of that era, I eventually remembered Smashing Pumpkins. Billy Corgan has such a unique and distinct voice. Surely no female musicians have covered any of their hits, right? Thankfully I was wrong! There's quite a few covers of 'Today,' but I rather liked this one by an artist named Terra Naomi, which is just her and her band performing it live in the back of their van while trekking to a gig.

Today by Terra Naomi


Now, Radiohead managed to just barely escape the "grunge" label by the skin of their teeth. 'Creep' was definitely considered an anthem of the latter half of that period in the mid to late 90's, but of course they were destined to evolve into something far more different and unique. (And are still evolving!) But rather than wade through a 100 different covers of 'Creep,' I went right for 'No Surprises,' the type of track that seems ideal for a female fronted reinterpretation and I found it courtesy of Regina Spektor.

No Surprises by Regina Spektor


In the same way that I initially found it difficult to think of anyone successfully covering Smashing Pumpkins because of Billy Corgan's voice, I wondered has anyone ever pulled off a Pearl Jam cover? Eddie Vedder's voice is very distinct, as well as easy to imitate, whether you're a Pearl Jam fan, karaoke enthusiast or one of the long line of Creed-esque rip-off bands. But I was really curious to find a female vocalist singing a Pearl Jam song. And so I went for my personal favorite (and one of their all time best) tracks 'Jeremy.' I found this very casual cover done at what seems like a party (hence the background noise towards the end) by this duo. I don't know their names. And perhaps I could do a more thorough job researching them, but the You Tube username is "eleauerreabe" and links back to several other covers with this guitarist.




Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Great Heartbreak Of 2013-2014 (AKA It's My Mix & I'll Cry If I Want To)


Since the advent of mix tapes, the goal with them has always been to try to describe very complicated emotions you're feeling through the words and music of others. If you're trying to profess your love or admiration to a person, that's a complicated and thought-provoking thing to have to do! If you're trying to turn on a younger sibling, cousin or friend onto new music, especially when they're at an impressionable age, that's a huge responsibility! You have the power to change this young person's life through music. Same goes for band mates. Illustrating the type of music you'd like to make with others is a complex form of communication. And alas, there's the last type of mix - the one no one ever wants to make. The break-up mix.

I don't want to delve too personally into my own situation or what exactly transpired to inspire the below playlist. But I will say that I was involved with a person, on and off for the majority of last year. Several months after we/she called it quits, I woke up to a text a few weeks back that read, "I saw you in a dream last night." The conversation that unfolded could've gone a number of ways, but it ended with her texting me in a 'by the way' kind of manner, "I'm engaged. I'm getting married."

I immediately retreated to my iTunes library to find solace. I started playing the Taking Back Sunday track "Your Own Disaster" from the Live From Orensanz CD over and over and over again. It's amazing how quickly our feelings can turn. When we part ways with someone for whatever reason, the least we can hope for is that we're thought of fondly. All the negatives are washed away and all that's left are the good times you shared with that person. In other words, you hope you're not forgotten. And yet, moments after that final text, I just kept thinking of the lyric, "just forget me. It's that simple." It's interesting how sometimes, in order to feel better about things, your mind starts working in fascinating, inexplicable ways. I, of course, started collecting a tally of songs to make me feel better about the whole situation. And much like any relationship/break-up itself, it's filled with contradictions, it's filled with doses of self loathing, anger, regret, romanticism, disappointment, etc. Here's what I put together on initial instinct.

The Great Heartbreak Of 2013-2014 Mix:

1. You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby by The Smiths
2. Push by The Cure
3. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
4. Why Bother? by Weezer
5. Someday by The Strokes
6. Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
7. Shout by Tears For Fears
8. Heartbreak Hotel by Elvis Presley
9. Landslide by Smashing Pumpkins
10. Stuck On You by Failure
11. I Remember You by Skid Row
12. Your Own Disaster by Taking Back Sunday (Live From Orensanz version)
13. Without You Here (Live) by Finch (from 'What It Is To Burn X')
14. So Long by Guster
15. They're Not Horses, They're Unicorns by Bayside
16. Jude Law And A Semester Abroad by Brand New
17. I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace

With a little bit more time to think about it, I would've added or used some different tracks, such as Roxette's "It Must Have Been Love" or EG Daily's "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)," but I already used that on my 80's mix. Maybe "Comfortable Liar" by Chevelle. But I always think that your initial reaction is the right one, so I'm sticking with this. And as you'll note, the tracks, lyrics and messages from this mix are just as mixed as most relationships tend to be. I blame myself at first with The Smith's "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby," and yet a few songs later, I'm declaring "Why Bother?" to the tune of Weezer. "You say you want to be by my side, darling your head's not right," from The Strokes "Someday" is again me taking the blame. Where in Tears For Fears "Shout," "I'd really love to break your heart." The Cure's "Push" is probably the most accurate of the bunch in terms my own situation. Or maybe "Wicked Game" is. I don't know. Things get a bit on the mean side towards the end, but like I said before, anger is a natural coping mechanism when it comes to a relationship that's run it's course. So gotta follow it through. Even if it means putting a song by Three Days Grace on a mix, something I thought I'd never, ever do.

Like I said, all of the above happened several weeks ago and I've been processing it all by listening to this mix I made. And I love it. It's a great collection of songs that currently encapsulate the varied range of emotions I've been going through. I'm good now. So back to the grind. But before I go, I'll leave you with another one I should have put on this mix. Coheed & Cambria's "A Favor House Atlantic," mainly for it's beautiful, melodic & catchy lyric, "Bye, Bye, beautiful. Don't bother to write..." So I'll include this really terrific acoustic version of that song here. And I'll say it once more...

Bye, bye, beautiful. Don't bother to write.


Saturday, September 13, 2014

Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam (AKA Galluzzo Vs Maddrey... but, not really!)

Ha! My title for this blog post says it all. There is no real animosity or mud slinging involved in this very simple debate between myself and my collaborator/friend Joe Maddrey. However, it's taken on a life of its own whenever we mention it on our respective Facebook pages, so I felt the need to put into context here via our blogs.

So here's what happened...

Joe and I have been meeting up quite a bit lately, not only to map out the details of our proposed project together, but also just to get to know each other better. And usually, we do that through our discussions on music, bands, songs, mixes we've made for people and how they factor into some of our personal life experiences. You can learn a lot about someone solely based on what they put on a mix tape! And so at some point in one of our conversations, I'm sure I was talking about Nirvana as the undisputed greatest band of ever when I suddenly noticed in Joe's facial expression... that he didn't agree with me! So that's when I said, "Wait... you a Pearl Jam guy?" Initially, there was never a "Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam" discussion. It was more of a, "well, I like Nirvana. They're a great band, but growing up, Pearl Jam spoke to me more." Fair enough. We're all our own people with our own unique experiences so we see and hear things just a tad bit differently from each other. No biggie. Still like the dude.

I think shortly after this lunch meeting, and out of sheer morbid curiosity, Joe posted on his Facebook page the simple 4 word question.... Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam? And what sprung from that was a fun, healthy and impassioned debate on which band is better. With the exception of one or two jokers that answered "Alice In Chains!," the verdict was predominantly for Nirvana. I'm sure I maturely texted Joe something along the lines of "In your face! Told ya!" Or something to that effect. A few weeks had passed and I'd forgotten all about this, but we're sitting there having lunch and in the middle of our chat, he slowly goes into his bag and slides over a CD across the table to me. It reads "The Case For Pearl Jam."


I couldn't help but laugh and find it to be a tremendously gracious and thoughtful gesture. There was no case to be made! I liked Pearl Jam too! Just not as much as Nirvana and I didn't keep up with them as much post-"Versus." (I remember when "Vitology" came out, it was a huge, huge disappointment at the time. How dare a band in their position waste album space with a song like "Bugs" when these are the same guys that a few years earlier gave us "Ten?!") But I was excited, because even though I've purchased every single Pearl Jam album as they've come out, I'm not as well versed in their later catalog as I am in the first few years. Now, I didn't set any restrictions for Joe. He set them on himself. He opted for no "Ten" tracks. Although he cheated and closed with "Release" because "how could I not?" he rightfully argued. But it's a good collection of tracks that spans their whole career. Here's that track listing:

THE CASE FOR PEARL JAM:

1. Last Exit (Vitology)
2. Animal (VS)
3. Hold On (Lost Dogs Disc 1)
4. Blood (VS)
5. Not For You (Vitology)
6. In My Tree (No Code)
7. No Way (Yield)
8. Yellow Ledbetter (Lost Dogs Disc 1)
9. Given To Fly (Yield)
10. Light Years (Binaural)
11. Of The Girl (Binaural)
12. You Are (Riot Act)
13. Inside Job (Pearl Jam)
14. Amongst The Waves (Backspacer)
15. Pendulum (Lightning Bolt)
16. Release (Ten)

And it absolutely did it's job. There's no denying that there's a great band here, even minus the well known singles. And it got me curious to give those latter records another spin. The only thing I gave Joe crap about was using the "Lost Dogs" version of "Yellow Ledbetter," which fades out early as opposed to the full version as it appeared on the original "Even Flow" single. And I probably would've thrown in the song "In Hiding" from "Yield;" I consider it one of their underrated and best, but again, I'm no authority on Pearl Jam. Now, to be clear, Joe will be the first to admit that he also isn't an expert on their latter career. As is the case with the way most mixes are put together, he was going on instinct; including the tracks that stood out to him personally that he wanted to share. I only note this because when I excitedly showed the track listing to my buddy AJ, a big PJ buff, he was surprised at the lack of newer songs. I was equally surprised by the response from my own Facebook friends when I posted that above photo of his mix CD. I found it ironic that most of my friends were arguing for Pearl Jam as the better of the two bands! (While his were pro-Nirvana?!) I decided that it was only fair for me to craft the counter mix. It was time for me to make "The Case For Nirvana."


I jokingly told Joe I could probably make a mix of only Nirvana B-sides and it'd still be better than his Pearl Jam mix. He joked that all I can do is hand over "Nevermind" or else my case is already lost, which of course he only said because he knew it'd infuriate me. (Which it did.) The one thing we agreed on was no singles. I would put together a collection of songs that would encompass the entire band's history. I struggled with it for quite a while. I had weird early demos on there like "Pen Cap Chew," just because I thought it was cool. I tried desperately to find a spot for "Verse Chorus Verse" aka "Sappy" aka the hidden track on the No Alternative compilation and it just didn't jive with any of the other songs I picked. So after a lot of moving around tracks and testing it out, I got what I consider to be the perfect non-single Nirvana mix:

THE CASE FOR NIRVANA:

1. Breed (Nevermind)
2. Aneurysm (Incesticide)
3. Drain You (Nevermind)
4. School (Bleach)
5. Turnaround (Hormoaning/Incesticide)
6. Oh, The Guilt (The Jesus Lizard split)
7. Very Ape (In Utero)
8. Territorial Pissings (Nevermind)
9. Son Of A Gun (Hormoaning/Incesticide)
10. Negative Creep (Bleach)
11. Curmudgeon (Lithium single)
12. Milk It (In Utero)
13. Lounge Act (Nevermind)
14. Return Of The Rat (Fourteen Songs For Greg Sage & The Wipers)
15. Marigold (Heart Shaped Box single)
16. Spank Thru (Sub Pop 200)
17. Talk To Me (Europe 1991 bootleg)
18. On A Plain (Nevermind)
19. Something In The Way (BBC Session)
20. Opinion (With The Lights Out Disc 2)
21. Do Re Mi (With The Lights Out Disc 3)
22. You Know You're Right (Nirvana)

I'm really proud of this Nirvana mix. The opener for any mix always has to be your strongest case. And although it's not one of my all time favorite Nirvana tracks, I've decided that "Breed" is kind of the quintessential Nirvana song. It's fast, it's got a punk feel to it, it's heavy, it's melodic, it's catchy, it's energetic, it's powerful. It's all the things I love about them as a band. And I think if you're unfamiliar with their catalog, these above listed songs are a good way to weave in and out of their punk songs and pop songs. It's a good collection. Towards the end, I wanted to give a feel for where Nirvana was heading. So I kicked that section off by including the B-Side "Marigold," performed by Dave Grohl which gives a tiny glimpse at the humble beginnings of the Foo Fighters. There's a bootleg track titled "Talk To Me," which I believe was only performed once during this European tour and it most certainly would've been a single had they had the chance to record it in the studio. Then there's the last 2 tracks, the solo acoustic demo "Do Re Mi," which is interesting in that the next Nirvana record would've probably been a hybrid of REM meets their Unplugged performance. It would've been special and weird and in that direction that they started with "All Apologies."

Lastly, their final track ever "You Know You're Right." I remember the time this sucker finally hit radio was probably a good 10 years after it was originally recorded. The Queens Of The Stone Age just released their hit single "No One Knows" with Dave Grohl pounding furiously behind the drum kit. Also on the radio was the new rockin' Foo Fighters single "All My Life" from their record "One By One." And then out of nowhere, we finally got the long lost last Nirvana track and immediately, it showed everything that'd been missing from the "pop/rock" music scene in the decade since that band ended. It was intense, passionate and angry. And lyrically, it spelled out Kurt's fate, whether he intended it to or not. I love the song, but it also makes me terribly sad because as the last few notes pluck out to the progressively slowing drum beat, you know that that's it. That right there is the end of Nirvana.


I gave the mix to Joe and after a few listens, he signed off on the whole Nirvana Vs Pearl Jam thing via his own personal blog: maddrey.blogspot.com. Check it out right HERE. He makes a lot of valid point as to why each band resonates with each of us. I particularly like the theory he illustrates from Daniel Levitin, who essentially says that we're most impressionable at the age of 14 and hence, that's when our life long musical tastes truly emerge. For me, I was around 14 when Nirvana first broke big and it absolutely changed my feelings about music in general. Joe's a year behind me so he was 14 the following year when Pearl Jam broke. But I think Nirvana plays a more prominent role in my life in terms of how it changed me personally from that moment forward. As I briefly touched upon in my very first blog entry, I always had an interest in music, but I was constantly discouraged by every adult that I ever crossed paths with. It literally wasn't until I heard Nirvana and picked up a guitar and figured out the 4 main chords to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" that I realized "I can do this." Had it not been for Nirvana breaking at exactly that moment in time, who knows if I would've formed several bands and written 100 plus songs in that time since?

The biggest difference I find between Pearl Jam and Nirvana is the simplicity in the songs. Sure, Pearl Jam lyrics are amazing and the songs themselves are all compromised of really cool riffs and licks. But... hearing them for the first time, could I actually figure out how to play them? It'd take a lot of work. And that's not to say that I wouldn't want to try to put the work in, but people get easily discouraged when things are difficult for them at first. The fact that Nirvana songs are simple enough for you to figure out pretty easily I think factors greatly into their overall influence on people. My buddy Jon Holland worked for years at a Guitar Center store and he told me, "remember that scene in WAYNE'S WORLD where they're in the music shop and there's a sign that says 'No Stairway?' That's how we felt about 'Teen Spirit' because every kid would come in and play it!" And then I'd move on to "Come As You Are." It's just a few simple notes. Almost like a scale exercise. And "Lithium" and so on and so forth. Nirvana for me wasn't just accessible to how I was feeling (which was angry all the time), but I felt as if I could figure out how to play their music too. And in turn, make some of my own just like it.

There's no right or wrong to this debate. It's all personal preference. It's all our life experiences that add up to why we love the things we do. And the beautiful thing about the things we love is how they inspire us. I wanted to close this by showing you something that years later still inspires me. There's a terrific little documentary called "Classic Albums: Nirvana Nevermind." I believe this was part of a series of VH1 specials that took an in depth look at one hit album, and broke it down track by track. Below is a clip from it where recording engineer and "Nevermind" producer Butch Vig breaks down the recording of "In Bloom." You get to hear the bass & drum tracks on their own. You also get to hear Kurt's main vocal track isolated. Then paired up with Dave's harmonies. And it sounds amazing. And to me, I love that fact that 3 guys walked into a room and created what you hear in this video clip. That's it! No pitch shifting or voice correction or pro tools manipulation. Plain and simple, 3 guys in one room. It's inspiring. And if 3 dudes can go into a room and come up with something that great, well then anything is possible.



Monday, September 8, 2014

(The Origins of) My Epic 80's Movie Music Mix

So, my birthday had just passed a few weeks ago. And while most people humbly don't like to make a big deal out of it, I most definitely wanted to celebrate! If anything, to take my mind off the fact that I am feeling and getting older. Usually, I just want to do something small and geeky with some close friends, so this year I opted to encore what I'd done last year. Rent out the Jumpcut Cafe and screen a film print of one of my favorite movies with a small group of people. Last year's feature was 'BETTER OFF DEAD.' This year was 'BACK TO THE FUTURE,' mainly because when I asked my buddy Mike Williamson (who screens 16mm prints from his collection monthly at the Jumpcut for his Secret Sixteen event) he said, "well, what are you favorite movies of all time?" "TEEN WOLF and EVIL DEAD 2!" "Oh. Well I have BACK TO THE FUTURE and ARMY OF DARKNESS?" And while I'm sure ARMY OF DARKNESS would've been a lot of fun, I opted for BTTF because I hadn't seen it in ages and I wanted to keep my birthday 80's-centric. (Besides, there's always next year.)


I can't explain it, but I just have so much love for that time period. Sure, I primarily grew up as a teenager in the 90's, but that later half of the 80's from around 85-89 was when I became a hardcore movie fanatic and soaked in as many comedies and horror films of that era as I could. It was the golden age of the video store. It was also the golden age of HBO where you'd seen weird, oft-kilter movies like 'ONE CRAZY SUMMER' or 'MAKING MR. RIGHT' or 'JUST ONE OF THE GUYS' on a regular basis. The mere possibility of a discussion popping up these days that revolves around the movies I love of this period gets me ridiculously excited. Any chance I get to talk about Savage Steve Holland or Michael J. Fox or John Hughes, it makes me enthusiastically very happy.

Ever since FEARnet shut down earlier this year, I've been trying to find little things to do that make me happy. One hobby that has resurfaced from my teenage years is record shopping. About two years ago when my current roommate Brendan moved in, he brought along with him a really great turntable set-up. Once we were up and running, I arranged to have any vinyl I had left in New York shipped here and I continued my collection, primarily focusing on soundtracks because they're fairly easy to find, but also because they tend to be fairly inexpensive! I love soundtracks, especially for 80's movies because a lot of those tracks aren't available in any other medium. Not on iTunes or even CD's. And sometimes you'll hear a few notes of a song or catch a few lyrics and immediately be transported into the world of the movie it's from. And because of this, I made it a quest to track down as many 80's movie soundtracks as possible.



With my birthday fast approaching and not a whole lot on my plate to do, I decided to hook up my laptop to our turntable so that I could digitize a handful of these records that aren't available any other way by using a program called Audacity. (Which by the way, I used to record all the DEXTER & THE FOLLOWING podcasts.) I wanted to rock out to EG Daily's "One Way Love (Better Off Dead)" in my room or pump my fist up in the air to Mark Safan's "Win In The End" from the original TEEN WOLF soundtrack in my car! (I mean, have you ever listened to the actual words of that song? Freakin' amazingly written. Will include at the end of this post.*) And as I was in the process of doing this, I started to formulate a playlist in my head. I began assembling in my mind what the perfect mix tape would be for these particular songs. Essentially I wanted to listen back to a list of tunes that evoked my innocent and untainted love of all these movies I discovered in my formative years.

And so I began my epic 80's Movie Music Mix. As is the case with most mixes, I desperately argued with myself on what order would be the most appealing. Well, if I have "Eye of The Tiger" on there, I have to follow it up with "You're The Best," right? And if I'm putting a track from THE KARATE KID on there, I might as well go right into a track from THE KARATE KID 2 next! At one point, there was a good 4 or 5 song stretch that was so full of win, I started to get excited and feel like I should sign up and win a tournament or something. Hearing all these songs together made me smile and laugh, but also inspired me! And so, I wanted to share this feeling. I mean, that's the point of mixes to begin with, right? You want to be able to express yourself or share something you're experiencing that you can't describe in words. And so you use other peoples words and music to get that message across. I figured it would only cost me about $20 bucks to buy a spindle of blank CD-R's and a batch of envelope sleeves and one afternoon of my time to burn them all. I was going to do it. I was going to make by hand a shit-ton of mix CD's and hand it out to every friend I crossed paths with on my birthday.


THE FINAL TRACK LISTING IS AS FOLLOWS:

1. The Power Of Love by Huey Lewis & The News (BACK TO THE FUTURE - 1985)
2. Back To School by Jude Cole (BACK TO SCHOOL - 1986)
3. They're So Incredible by Revenge (REVENGE OF THE NERDS - 1984)
4. One Way Love (Better Off Dead) by EG Daily (BETTER OFF DEAD - 1985)
5. Win In The End by Mark Safan (TEEN WOLF - 1985)
6. Eye Of The Tiger by Survivor (ROCKY III - 1982)
7. You're The Best by Joe Espisito (THE KARATE KID - 1984)
8. Glory Of Love by Peter Cetera (THE KARATE KID PART 2 - 1986)
9. La Bamba by Los Lobos (LA BAMBA - 1987)
10. (Don't You) Forget About Me by Simple Minds (THE BREAKFAST CLUB - 1985)
11. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel (SAY ANYTHING - 1989)
12. What Does It Take by Honeymoon Suite (ONE CRAZY SUMMER - 1986)
13. Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by Starship (MANNEQUIN - 1987)
14. St. Elmo's Fire (Man In Motion) by John Parr (ST. ELMO'S FIRE - 1985)
15. Meet Me Half Way by Kenny Loggins (OVER THE TOP - 1987)
16. Put A Little Love In Your Heart by Al Green & Annie Lennox (SCROOGED - 1988)
17. Dead Man's Party by Oingo Boingo (BACK TO SCHOOL - 1986)
18. Batdance by Prince (BATMAN - 1989)



I'm fairly content that I was able to squeeze the above selected tracks onto a 74 minute blank CD. I'm proud of the flow and feel of the whole thing. Sure, I messed around with it a lot. In retrospect, I might not have doubled up on 2 tracks from BACK TO SCHOOL, but I was just so in love with the idea of Dead Man's Party back to back with Batdance (the obvious closer) that I couldn't resist. I also had a few other oddities in my initial version such as Dan Aykroyd & Tom Hanks rap performance of "City Of Crime" from DRAGNET (1987) and The Fat Boy's "Baby, You're A Rich Man" from DISORDERLIES (1987), but that's what iTunes playlists are for! On iTunes, your mixes can be as long as you like. And so, I handed out that above stack to all my friends on my birthday, and they all reacted with surprise but also appreciation. "Wait... it's YOUR birthday. Shouldn't we be getting you something???" Nah, I wanted to share something that would spread positive vibes and have people think of me in that way.

And it worked beautifully! A few days later, my buddy Andrew Kasch and his wife Annette had given birth to their first baby daughter and he posted a pic stating that her first listen on the way home from the hospital was my 80's Movie Music Mix. My Killer POV co-host Elric texted me a few days later to say the mix was "cinematic sweetness." After posting about it on Facebook, a handful on non-local friends started asking about it, and I couldn't help myself! I made a few additional copies and started mailing them out to people. My friend Christina in Florida told me she got a little teary-eyed when "Put A Little Love In Your Heart" popped up towards the end because of how much she loves SCROOGED. (Me too! It's my Christmas Eve tradition!) And so, mission accomplished.

One of the beautiful things about making mixes and sharing music is that you have the power to touch people. Make them feel good. Spread positive vibes. Inspire and encourage them through words & music and in this case, the love everyone around my age shares with these particular movies. Think about it, that stack of CD's up above didn't even exist in any way, shape or form a few weeks ago. And now I've spread them not only across my local friends here in Los Angeles, but across the darned United States as well! So if you have the opportunity and time to share something that means something to you with the people you care about, just do it. It's worth it. It makes a difference. After all, that's the power of love...



*I was down to zero
Still an unsung hero
Waiting for my ship to come to shore

I stood empty handed
Like a seagull stranded
Watching all the other seagulls soar

I was slowly losing hope
Twisting frayed ends of the rope
In a suicidal fantasy

I was going to extremes
Losing sight of all my dreams again
I never thought I'd win

I was blinded by the pain
Running wild through the rain
In a parody of extacy

I was inches from the edge
Fingers clinging to the ledge again
I never thought I'd win

Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end

Got to keep my cool
I am not the fool
Everyone expects to play me for

I could change the pattern
Steal a ring from Saturn
Forge myself into a man-of-war

I am equal to the task
I won't hide behind the mask
What you see is what you'll get from me

I am stronger than they think
They can force me to the brink again
But now I know I'll win

Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end

I will steal the thunder
Rolling out from under
Every cloud that's clashing in the sky

Like a true defender
I will not surrender
Why should I lie down for them and die?

I am equal to the task
I won't hide behind the mask
What you see is what you'll get from me

I am stronger than they think
They can force me to the brink again
But now I know I'll win

Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end
Win in the end
I'm gonna win in the end