"How could you just leave me standing alone in a world that's so cold?"
That Prince reference aside, I hope you don't mind if I deviate from the usual music-related blog to lament the shocking and sudden death of one of my all time favorite home video formats. The mighty 3D!
I've been an advocate for home 3D now for about 4-5 years. Basically, I've lived in Los Angeles for 8, going on 9 years, and it hasn't always been easy in that time period. About 4 years into my tenure, after many ups and downs, I was finally comfortable with my job, earning a more than reasonable salary, and living with the ideal roommate. Together with my new found riches, and a living mate with similar sensibilities as me, I was able to build up our home entertainment system into something special. After all, movies are a huge part of my life. My physical collection is something I still savor, mainly because it evokes the feeling I had scanning the shelves of an old video store. Regardless of budget or quality, you were surrounded by "art." And being surrounded by art on a regular basis can be tremendously inspiring when it comes to making your art.
See? Doesn't that make ya want to create some shit?
When I finally upgraded to a high def TV and fully embraced this whole Blu-Ray fad, I decided, screw it. If I'm getting an HD TV, I might as well fork over a few extra bucks and get a 3D TV! I'd never even tested the format in the electronic store, but I figured it couldn't hurt already having it included in my set up. And so, I went for a 60 inch Sony Bravia. We brought that sucker home, and we first tested it out with my Blu-Ray of TRAINSPOTTING. It looked spectacular! Immediately, the foot coming into frame to the pounding drums of Iggy Pop's "Lust For Life," and it felt like we were watching it in a theater. (It helped that my roommate and I wisely chose to position the TV only several feet in front of our main couch, making it appear far more theatrical than being all the way across the damned room.)
After that, I popped in JURASSIC PARK 3D, a conversion, mind you. We skipped right to the T-Rex scene, and wow... we were beyond blown away.
It's actually rather simple. Home 3D looks far superior to anything you'd get in a theater. Fact. In theaters, in order for 3D to work properly, it requires a much brighter (and expensive) bulb to project accurately. It's meant to compensate for the darkness of the glasses. If calibrated correctly, the illusion of 3D should be amazing. But often times, theaters cheap out. They don't bother upgrading their bulbs, they use whatever ones they already have, and hence, the screen will look much darker than it should. When it comes to home 3D, there are no bulbs involved. Pending that you have your TV calibrated correctly (and for the love of Crom, have turned off "Motion Blur," or any feature with the word "motion" in it), it should look better than ever.
And so almost immediately, starting with JURASSIC PARK and then followed by titles like PACIFIC RIM, MY BLOODY VALENTINE, HOUSE OF WAX, and just about any of the MARVEL movies, I became a 3D junkie. I refused to see things in the theater in 3D, because it would look better when I finally got it home! There are at least 3 friends I can count that have gone out and bought 3D TV's after I showed them my presentation. There can be no bigger cheerleader for the home 3D set-up than me!
But alas, it wasn't meant to last.
Let me back up. The new current technological rage at the moment is 4K, which I believe to be a myth. I mean, people can't even be bothered to turn off the goddamned "motion" settings on their TV, they don't deserve good looking movies, let alone 3D! Or crystal clear 4K! You're not going to get much better, quality wise, than what Blu-Ray has to offer on a high def TV. Sure, the newer superhero movies which were created on a computer screen will look vibrant and lifelike, but can you really take an older movie and make it look much better than what a high def TV already does?
Regardless, I always assumed that 3D would be an option on 4K TV's, because that's what's usually advertised. But then, the unthinkable happened. My beautiful Sony Bravia... crapped out on me. I came home from work one day, and my roomie asked, "Hey man. Was that line across the bottom of the screen the last time you watched?" The following day, a second line appeared. Followed by 4, then 5 more!
How can this be?! Let me check my warranty. Dammit! I bought it for up to 2 years. I've now had this TV for 4. But wait, 4 years? That's not a fair lifespan for a television, is it? There's a 20 year old tube TV that weighs a literal ton still sitting in my bedroom and that thing is still going strong! How is this possible?! Freakin' Sony!
This discovery happened on a Friday, and so I had to wait out a whole weekend before I could call a few recommended repairmen about fixing this blasted thing. And I intended to fix it! I own something like 150 3D Blu-Ray titles, only a forth of which I've watched, because I usually save them for movie nights, so I'll be damned if I give up 3D just yet!!!
By Monday morning, my TV had gone from 5 lines across the bottom to half the screen going completely black.
This was dire! I spoke to 3 different repairmen, texted over photos, and all 3 confirmed the same thing, it was unrepairable. Something about it being the panel, and at this point, replacing the panel would cost the same as getting a new TV, if you could even find the part because they don't make that model of Sony Bravia anymore.
Fine. I accepted this. I had literally gotten paid a nice chunk for a freelance gig that I intended to use to wipe out my remaining debt and put into savings, but I guess that wasn't meant to be either!
I headed to Fry's. And then Target. And then Best Buy. And to my horror, the same thing kept happening at every electronics location I went to. They did not have 3D TV's!!! It seems they stopped offering the 3D option with 2016 TV's, and everything in store and on the shelf was 2017, this years models. I begged, I pleaded, I searched online, and called stores. But no one had anything from 2016, let alone anything that was 3D capable.
I did a google search, found a pretty good model at a ridiculous price that was too good to be true. And that's because it was. 2 days after ordering it, I got a call from the company saying they didn't have it in stock. If I was going to find a 3D TV, it would have to be in person! And so I continued my quest, all in between starting a brand new job, and with the kick off of the Halloween season. No luck. I almost drove to a Fry's in Arizona where my family is because they had one 3D TV in stock, but then one of those repairmen I reached out to called. He said he checked with one of his vendors and he had ONE 4K 3D TV in stock. A 2016 LG 65UF9500. It was 65 inches, and yes, 3D ready. Passive 3D, by the way, not active, which means you need battery operated glasses. (Screw that!) I took it immediately. Because, this very well could be the last 3D TV in all of Los Angeles.
I drove to one of the shadiest parts of Los Angeles, paid just a tiny bit more than I really wanted to for this thing, then realized I couldn't fit it into my tiny Nissan Versa Note. We very carefully took the thing out of the box, and strategically placed in in the back of my car with both back seats down. I drove very slowly home that day. The roomie helped me bring it up. We plugged it in. Fired it up. And bliss. We had another fully operational 3D TV back in the apartment. My old one, sadly, went next to the dumpsters like a relic from a forgotten time, which was only a mere 4 years ago.
Now that I'm back on track, I will never take the third dimension for granted again!!!
This TV has a 2 year warranty on it. Although... realistically I don't know how they could replace it if anything ever did happen. But even if it lasted as long as my previous TV did (and quite frankly, it should last much longer), then I've got a good solid 4 more years to enjoy and host 3D movie nights. And I assure you I haven't slacked at all!
In the last week alone, I've enjoyed WONDER WOMEN in 3D, along with SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING and GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2.
I should have known with GUARDIANS that the end was near. It actually did not come out as a 3D Blu-Ray here in America, unless you bought a limited edition steelbook version from Best Buy that happened to include the 3D version as a bonus. I ordered it from the UK, along with THE MUMMY 3D, and TERMINATOR 2 3D. Most UK releases are all-region, not to mention much cheaper than US prices! But since the TV's have stopped being produced here, it seems the discs themselves have also been faded out. I mean, a major Marvel movie that was released theatrically in 3D didn't get a home 3D release? It truly is the end, my friends.
But for now, I can enjoy a few more years with home 3D. And tonight will truly be the test.
I have a fun little group of friends I watch movies with called the "Bad Movie Brigade." What brought us together was our desire to see METALSTORM in 3D. Ever since, we're regularly made it a point to pair up unlikely movies and watch them together. When I revealed to the gang that I was back on track with a 3D set-up, I sent a list of my 3D library and asked for them to request double features. My friend (and fellow madman) Stephen Scarlata came back with this double feature suggestion... Dario Argento's DRACULA 3D with I, FRANKENSTEIN.
I figured let's push it one step further. I just got THE (Tom Cruise) MUMMY in 3D imported from the UK. Let's make it a triple feature, and it'll be 3 of the worst reinterpretations of the Universal Monsters ever! Dario Argento's DRACULA 3D, I, FRANKENSTEIN 3D, and THE MUMMY 3D! I guarantee we're the only humans on the planet to do this triple feature, and to enjoy it in all 3 dimensions as was intended!
While the rest of the world may mourn the passing of the 3D format, we shall rage with this party for just a little bit longer.
Who else is going to watch all these 3D movies otherwise?!
